Outsourced

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 103 Minutes
Release Date : Nov ‘07
Director & Co-Writer : John Jeffcoat ; Co-Writer : George Wing ;
Starring : Josh Hamilton, Ayesha Dharker, Asif Basra

Its clichéd, its corny but nice. Josh Hamilton plays Todd, a nice American guy who’s hard-nosed boss sends him to India to train the new outsourced order fulfillment department. When he gets there, things are a bit of a disaster – accent, understanding of American small talk, the numbers (MPI’s, the amount of time taken to fulfill the order), understanding of the items sold (cheesy American souvenier items like the bald eagle etc) – everything is a mess…And the catch is that he cant return to America till the MPI is down to 6 minutes from its current 12.

Todd, or Toad as he’s called by everyone, is finding things difficult. He’s alone, in a strange land, surrounded by people who cant really understand him. Things are beginning to get to him when, in a chance encounter he meets another American who gives him some friendly advice…to give in to India, don’t try to resist it…things will then happen much more easily…And the funny thing is, it does…I wont bore you with the details but things start to take a turn for the better and he enjoys some unique Indian experiences including a downpour which floods the office, a misplaced shipment, Holi and a figurative ‘holiday in Goa’.

Amongst the key characters in the movie is Ayesha Dharker playing Asha, one of the girls in the call center, who asks a lot of questions and also boldly suggests that Todd learn about India before he tries to teach them about America. Another key one is Purohit or Puru, the person who is designated to replace Todd as manager, the man who will earn half a million a year (rupees, as Todd’s boss laughs and tells him), on the basis of which he was able to get engaged to a girl he loved since childhood. And finally, there is Todd's landlady, who breathlessly asks him 6 questions within a minute of meeting him.

It was a nice, easy watch. Not too disparaging or making too much fun of India or America, just passing a comment or two on how different the two cultures really are. For example, how Todd can live two hours away from his parents but only visits them 4-5 times a year. Or how educated, progressive Indian girls can still choose arranged marriage, where they get married to guys they don’t love (yet). Its funny at times, bittersweet at others, its east meets west. Its predictable but not to the point of distraction. Worth a watch, if only to learn more about the ‘monkey pulls a turnip’ position…

Lets Enjoy

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 107 Minutes
Release Date : Oct ‘04
Directors & Writers : Siddharth Anand Kumar & Ankur Tewari ; Music : Midival Punditz
Starring : Aashish Choudhary, Roshni Chopra, Arzoo Govrikar, Dhruv Singh, Shiv Pandit, Yamini Namjoshi, Dhruv Jagasia, Jaspreet Uppal, Sahil Gupta, Kabir Singh, Piyali Roy
Timepass film, showing what are the things on minds of the young today (sex), what are the issues they face (mostly with the opposite sex), what do they do (party) etc

Its actually a few sub-plots and some different interesting characters who get together for a huge party in a Delhi farmhouse. The owner of the farmhouse, Armaan, is back from Canada and one of the persons he wants to get in touch with is Shreya, his ex, who he’s not stayed in touch with in the 4 years he was in Canada. We have Shreya and her couple of friends – one of whom is a ‘fast’ girl and another who’s on the slower side. We have Raghu and a very cute Reena, who are celebrating their 5th anniversary at the farmhouse and Reena has decided unilaterally that tonight is the night catching Raghu a bit unprepared. We have a group of three friends, Happy, Bunny and Sodhi, who lose their way a bit on the way to the farmhouse and end up trusting a Mr Bharat Bhushan a bit too much. We have a gay male designer (are there any other kinds ?) and his good looking leggy female entourage. We have a guitarist named Karan. And most endearing of all, we have a very well played local rustic lad, Rajinder, who wants to make it big in the world of modeling and see’s the party as his big chance. Add a couple of smoked out DJ’s, lots of music, a nice pool, a big, showery dance floor and you have all the ingredients for a big party. And, lets not forget a frog named Poppat…

Issues are the shallowness (since there are so many characters, we don’t really get under the skin of anyone), the dialogue being a bit forced / unnatural, trying to be too cool and youthful and the lack of a spark / a big event. It’s a collection of small things and events – nothing big happens, nothing which truly enthralls you or captivates you.

Its interesting as a premise, reasonably interesting to watch but when it ends you wonder what it was all about – it needed something stronger as a central thread to bind it together. Not bad, just about ok…

Kismat Konnection

Rating : 4/10
Running Time : 155 Minutes
Release Date : 18th July ‘08
Director : Aziz Misra ; Writer : Sanjay Chel / Rahila Mirza ; Music : Pritam
Starring : Shahid Kapoor, Vidya Balan, Om Puri, Vishal Malhotra

Its possibly over-intellectualization, but I don’t like the central message / theme of the movie. That someone or something, can really change your fate and make things start to go well. In a nation obsessed with astrology, numerology and riddled with superstition, I think the last thing needed is reinforcement.

There are other flaws as well leading to a low rating – it has too many slow moments, too many songs, too many PJ’s. And overall its biggest issue is predictability…you can predict every twist, every turn in the film with eyes closed, including the not so surprise twist in the end. It’s a classic boy meet girl story, with its inevitable downs, then becoming up and then down again, before the final crescendo.

There is a blatant attempt to cash in Shahid, who does well / ok, holds his own. But several songs, shirtless moments etc are testament to an attempt to take advantage of his Jab We Met popularity. Vidya Balan tries to be girl next door and does ok at that, however, she fails miserably as soon as she tries to look hot (as in the end-credits song, for example).

Its light though, Shahid and Vishal Malhotra have some good moments, there is also a nice angle about how those good in studies don’t necessarily turn out to be that good in real life and the icing on the cake is Himani Shivpuri’s ‘watch your tone’ dialogue, used twice with good effect…

Go only if you really like either of the lead pair or have absolutely nothing to do. Actually scratch the latter part of that thought.

Dark Knight

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 152 Minutes
Release Date : 18th July ‘08
Director & Co-Writer : Christopher Nolan; Writer : Jonathan Nolan;
Starring : Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman

Its complicated, too many sub-plots, too long with ‘interval’ coming when you’re actually expecting it to end but all that is compensated for by some funny one-liners (mostly by the Joker), good acting overall, especially by Christian Bale who’s made the part his own and finally some sensational stunts…two in particular were simply awe-inspiring !

The plot is the biggest let-down. Batman is after the mob, for a kind of final clean-up and somehow the Joker gets involved to try and finish Batman / save their money etc. I wish they had kept it that simple but then there is a young, upcoming D.A. who’s trying to clean up the mob through the legal channels, there’s Maggie Gyllenhaal, who was previously with Batman and is now with the D.A, there’s the public who is now split between supporting Batman and being against him for using ‘illegal’ methods to nab the criminals, there’s a Chinese mafia/ lawyer guy who’s in charge of the mob’s books and keeps their money. And there is another guy who thinks he’s discovered the identity of Batman. With inspiration from Chandler Bing, could it be more complicated ?

The Joker is played well by Heath Ledger – not as over the top as Jack Nicholson’s number a few years ago but with the right shade of madness…Maggie is good in a very small side-part but seriously lacking in sex-appeal. After the likes of Kim Basinger, Alicia Silverstone, Michelle Pfeiffer, Uma Thurman or even Katie Holmes in the previous episodes, she is (not literally but otherwise),a distinct light-weight.

The stunts are what really saves it though – there were two or three (can’t reveal more for fear of spoiling it for to-be watchers) which had me nodding my head in admiration and high-fiving with my son. And Christian Bale is now Batman…cant think of anyone else for this part.

Worth a watch, once, if cool stunts and things like the Batmobile or the bike above turn you on.

Contract

Rating : 2/10
Running Time : 122 Minutes
Release Date : 18th July ‘08
Director : Ram Gopal Varma ; Writer : Prashant Pandey ; Music : Amar Mohile, Sanaa, Bapi-Tutul
Starring : Adhvik Mahajan, Sakshi Gulati, Zakir Hussain, Sumeet Nijhavan, Upendra Limaye

I would like to put out a contract against Ram Gopal Varma’s ego. I have an issue with a person who treats the art of cinema so disdainfully, calls his film company a ‘factory’ and makes 3-4 films in a year.

Contract showcases nothing new – either in terms of story or cinematic treatment and is further let down by clichéd dialogue, wooden performances and an unrealistic ending that leaves itself open to the horrifying prospect of a sequel. The story, that of an ex-army guy, who’s family is killed in a mass bombing and now seeks revenge by becoming a terrorist, is clearly old hat. His rise up the ranks of the underworld / terrorists is almost too easy – maybe that’s how it happens in real life, I cant claim to know any better – but it just seems too simplistic. And we’re also exposed to gore, deaths etc to make it worse.

Adhvik is ok – slightly wooden but has potential in terms of physique and looks. Sakshi Gulati is an improvement vs Ramu’s previous muse (Nisha Kothari) but then so would most people on the planet be, so that’s not saying much. Maybe with the right role, she could be better. The others seem to be sleepwalking through a performance which doesn’t demand too much in terms of emoting or dialogue delivery. And we are further subjected to really weird camera angles and the gritty, yellowish, dark photography that is de rigueur in all of RGV’s films.

Couldn’t wait for it to end. Go on, RGV, I dare you to make a sequel to this one ! I think after your recent disasters, even you will struggle to find backers in the future.

Hancock

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 92 Minutes
Release Date :11th July ’08 (India)
Director : Peter Berg ; Writer : Vincent Ngo, Vince Gilligan
Starring : Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman, Jae Head
Hancock is the world’s first scruffy superhero who doesn’t give a damn. All superheroes so far have always been smooth, clean-shaven (not a moustache or even long sidebars between them), PR savvy, politically correct, with secret identities, uniforms, fans, adoring public, and a bevy of beautiful women after them.

Hancock thinks nothing of pinching a woman’s butt, clearing away a line of kids to get an ice cream, or rescuing a whale by simply tossing it out into the sea (and sinking a sailboat in the process) or even drinking all day. He doesn’t have a secret identity or uniform or any fans (in fact the opposite) or beautiful women after him. Right from his first rescue mission – when he breaks the road when he takes off, then hits & breaks a freeway sign which in turn hits and damages several police cars chasing the baddies and then how he tackles the baddies by beating their car against several buildings and damaging property worth $9mn, you know you’re in for something different.

And then there is a twist in the middle that was brilliant, I wasn’t able to spot that coming (and neither was Hancock), which made things more interesting briefly. But I feel the director / writer wasn’t quite able to decide what to do / how to end it and the movie kind of petered away in the end. Also, somethings weren’t explained fully – didn’t make sense. I like clarity of rules ie Superman is man of steel except around kryptonite or Sandman is very strong except when wet etc. Here, this part was not so clear.


But the unkempt, grungy, unsmiling yet wise-cracking Will Smith, the delectable Charlize Theron (looks gorgeous even while playing a normal housewife) and some lovely situations (the crowd reaction after he rescues a PR agent, for example) ensure you have a lot of laughs and enjoy the film. It was interesting to watch a superhero movie that breaks all the rules. And just for that, its worth a watch…

PS : I also liked the way they adapted the international movie poster for India by including the Taj...more power to India !!

KungFu Panda

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 92 Minutes
Release Date : 4th July ‘08
Director & Writer : Mark Osborne & John Stevenson ; Writers : Jonathan Aibel & Glen Berger ; Music : John Powell, Hans Zimmer
Voices of : Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Dustin Hoffman, Lucy Liu, Ian McShane, Jackie Chan

It made me laugh but is not a classic. There is a very good take-off on all the good old kung-fu movies, with moves like ‘the Wuxi finger hold’ (or something like that), places like ‘Pool of Sacred Tears’ and ‘The Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom’, fighters like the tigress, crane, monkey etc using exotic styles like tiger claw, white crane and monkey kung fu. The animation is exquisite, as with all DreamWorks films, with really lovely touches like petals flying, the grass rustling, the ripples in water etc. And there is lots of fun, as we watch a huge, overweight, ungainly, wise-cracking paunchy panda demonstrate his skills (or the lack of them) at kung fu.

However, I feel this is a movie which I would be able to watch only once or maximum another time, while I can (& I do) see the animated classics, several times. There are two things which make the difference to me – one is the dialogue – movies like Ice Age had brilliant dialogue, with several ‘layers’ – some jokes which kids got and some others which were meant for adults. This one was pretty average as far as the dialogue was concerned, nothing brilliant and missed the layering almost completely. The second is the lack of multiple, endearing and characters – whether it was Finding Nemo or Jungle Book, both had several beautifully sketched, distinct, whimsical personalities (the amnesiac fish, Doreen, the turtle or Bruce, the vegetarian shark from the former & Kaa, Colonel Haathi, King Louis or the evergreen Bagheera and Baloo from Jungle Book). In KungFu Panda, too much time is spent on the Panda, too little in making us get to know the other characters and their idiosyncracies.

Kids, though, loved the movie. I enjoyed it too, despite all the intellectualisation above. And its for sure worth the price of a ticket.

Caramel

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 95 Minutes
Release Date : 9th August 2007 (Lebanon) / 4th July ‘08 (India)
Director : Nadine Labaki
Starring : Nadine Labaki, Yasmine Elmasri, Joanna Moukarzel

This is a good example of a slice of life film. Nothing really big ever seems to happen but it showcases what everyday life can be. Full of little details, uneventful, yet busy, filled with small victories and cluttered with frequent disappointments.

The film revolves around a women’s beauty salon – where women go through through understandable rituals like hair cuts and other more mysterious ones like waxing, threading, colouring etc. It follows the lives of the three women who work there (Rima, Nisrine and Layale) and the people they come in contact with including one of their permanent clients, Jamale, an actress who frequently goes for auditions, a seamstress who does their aprons (Aunty Rosa), a traffic cop who has a crush on Layale.

The movie is filled with memorable moments like the Nisrine and her fiancee’s altercation with the police, Auntie Rosa and her prince Charles, Lili’s make-believe world where the neighbours are waiting for dinner, the traffic fines are letters from her lover and her plane is always ready to take-off, Layale’s secret lover who is a married man and her trials and tribulations with him, Nisrin’s mothers coy bees-and-flowers talk with her daughter prior to her wedding.

I enjoyed the pace of the film. Its never too slow to grip you yet is leisurely enough to think about life – the one shown on screen and our own. I enjoyed thinking of different incidents and comparing them to life in India – thinking at times ‘this could never happen here’ or ‘that’s just like us’. For example, the altercation with the policeman could very easily have happened in India. But the politeness with which the cop spoke throughout the incident, could never have happened here. It’s the kind of film which doesn’t bother to tie-up all the ends yet when it finishes you suddenly realize you’ve learnt about another culture. Likeable, yet not every ones cup of tea.

Original name : Sukkar Banat, A Lebanese film, released in India as part of NDTV's Lumiere series

Jaane Tu

Rating : 9/10
Running Time : 155 Minutes
Release Date : 4th July ‘08
Director & Writer : Abbas Tyrewala ; Music : AR Rahman
Starring :
The Gang : Imran Khan, Genelia D’Souza, Karan Makhija, Sugandha Garg, Nirav Mehta, Alishka Varde
The Fiancee’s : Manjari Phadnis, Ayaz Khan
The parents : Ratna Pathak Shah, Naseeruddin Shah, Jayant Kriplani, Anuradha Patel, Kitu Gidwani, Rajat Kapoor
Others : Sohail and Arbaaz Khan, Pratiek Babbar, Paresh Rawal

Don’t read this review, don’t think too much…just pick up the phone and book your tickets for the movie…Done that ? Now proceed with my thoughts on this beautiful cinematic experience that makes you feel young again.

Right from the time the ‘watercolour’ treated opening credits flash on the screen, you see some young kids singing the old Hindi song ‘Jaane Tu…ya Janne na’ at the top of their voices in a car, you know you’re in for something different. Its youthful, exuberant, irreverent and cool…and all this without trying too hard. In short its zara hatke…but without seeming to be trying to be….

The story is not important here…its basically about two inseparable friends (Imran and Genelia) and how their relationship progresses (or not) and how it impacts those around them (their close friends, parents etc). What is important is how its been treated, how the situations simply flow, how the characters just seem to be doing what they do, however crazy, just naturally. It reminds me of Friends, with each person in the film having a very sharply defined character and the interaction between them seeming the most normal thing to do…even if someone appears in the film for 5 minutes, you know what they are about, how they would behave…whether its Genelia’s parents (Jayant Kriplani & Anuradha Patel), Imran’s (Ratna Pathak Shah and the delightfully dead Naseeruddin Shah) or even Inspector Waghmare (the delightfully alive Paresh Rawal).

The funeral in the beginning, the videocam introduction of the friends, the 2 characters on the horses (Arbaaz and Sohail Khan), the three people who meet towards the end in jail and all have nicknames from Jungle Book, the man at the end with the Godot placard…the movie abounds with lovely touches. However, none as brilliant as the interaction between the erstwhile Naseeruddin Shah’s painting and Ratna Pathak Shah and the whole Ranjhaur ke Rathore thing. That was pure genius, simply outstanding. Everyone acts very well – fits in perfectly – it would be unfair to single out the lead pair (who rock !) or anyone else for special mentions. The songs are lovely, flow smoothly into the film (I really loved Kabhi Kabhi Aditi and Pappu Can’t Dance).There are no item numbers (no skimpily clad blonde bombshells shaking legs and/or other body parts), there is no brand endorsement in the film (as compared to LoveStory2050, the comparison can't be more stark on both these counts). I thought based on the current bollywood trends you couldn’t have a successful movie without these two ? Just another example of ‘zara hatke’ thinking from the director / producers.


I’ve deducted one point for the really ‘over the top’ ending – just the last few frames – it’s the only time in the movie when I could say ‘that’s not possible in real life’. But maybe it is and I’m just carping…I do know that I almost dread going for the next film, as I know after this its going to be such a letdown and Bollywood needed such a film in 2008

And I also do know that I haven’t laughed this much in a very long time – the first half truly delights you ! I want the DVD. I want to watch it again. I want a sequel. And all of this tomorrow !

Love Story 2050

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : > 180 Minutes (definitely feels like an eternity)
Release Date : 4th July‘08
Director & Story : Harry Baweja ; Music : Anu Malik
Starring : Harman Baweja, Priyanka Chopra, Boman Irani

I think I know what happened here. The Baweja’s spent so much money on the Australian locales and special effects / animation on the 2050 part that they ran out of money and employed themselves as the story / screenplay writers and also forgot to employ an editor. The result is a movie reeking with inane, hammy dialogue (the next time Harman said 'I dont need luck, I have love' in that goofy way of his, I swear the entire audience would've lynched him) , a story crammed with unnecessary sub-plots and silly twists and turns. And I honestly think they put every scene they shot up on the screen. They forgot the editor or his scissors…

He-man type, xtreme sport loving Harman falls for a Mills & Boon type, pink colour loving, Priyanka who writes a diary, scribbles hearts, and names toys ‘Winkydinks'. Harman woo’s her by breakdancing and doing all the silly things that work only in movies and never in real life. He also immediately transforms from an alpha male character into a mushy, soppy mass of goo, who breaks into tears at the drop of a handkerchief. Enter an uncle, a cliched mad scientist type, who has a time machine, some more very silly twists and turns, and we’re off for Mumbai 2050.

There are three glaring examples of sub-plots which didn’t need to be there at all
 The two kids : Priyanka's siblings. Firstly I know of no kids like them, they’re irritating, try to be cute, are all senti-mushy-yucky and mouth sentences no self-respecting kids would. Secondly, there’s not one reason why they had to exist on-screen.
 Harman Baweja’s Dad : again, the whole father-son relationship thing was unnecessary. The story wouldn’t have changed one iota, if Harman had simply remarked ‘mera koi nahin hai’ and we would’ve saved fifteen minutes of screen time
 The whole Hoshi angle : an unnecessary caricature of a villain they introduced in the 2050 part of the film.

Come to think of it, they could’ve just shown Harman and Priyanka to be dating already, spared us the whole courtship thing and gone ahead directly with the 2050 part. So whats good about the film ? The locales in Australia are very nice, well-chosen and for a change its not about Sydney, the opera house and Sydney harbour but something more interesting. Priyanka is all pouty, but looks decent, even in red hair. And the futuristic animation / special effects are good. Not great, but good and with a couple of nice touches (the Kantabai hologram and the paan-making robot were interesting thoughts).

Harman can dance, look good but is overly made-up (the lip gloss is too prominent) and is very bad at dialogue delivery. His character, during courtship, is also shown doing a couple of things which are very silly (getting up while a rollercoaster is moving and stealing a toy) and kids may take up on that. And eets long, this movie, very painful and eets very, very long (some 30-40 people left midway into the second half, after having shelled out Rs200 for the preview).

I went more for the 2050 part but unfortunately it’s the Love Story part that dominates – they don’t let go even in the 2050 part and spoil that too. When I first heard the toy name ‘winkydinks’, my instinct was to get up and run. I didn’t obey it and sat through. Big mistake. Big. Huge !

Via Darjeeling

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 103 Minutes
Release Date : 27th June ‘08
Director : Arindam Nandy ; Writer : Arindam Nandy & Atul Sabharwal ; Music : Prabuddha Banerjee
Starring : Vinay Pathak, Kay Kay Menon, Sonali Kulkarni, Sandhya Mridul, Rajat Kapoor, Prroshant Narayannan, Parvin Dabas, Simone Singh

What happened here ? Its definitely something different, something unusual for Hindi cinema. I kept sitting through a movie that while boasting of an excellent star cast, clearly lacked zip in its dialogue and was moving at a soporific pace, hoping that the ending would surprise us all and make the whole journey worthwhile. No such luck, it only contributed to making my heavy head become a full-fledged throbbing headache….

The premise is that of a husband vanishing (shades of Frantic in reverse here)on the last day of their honeymoon. The inspector is not able to make any headway and later is ordered to kind of be hands off by the rich and powerful father of the bride and also the chief inspector / DIG of the region.
So one rainy night, at a house gathering with some very drunk and some barely sober friends, he mentions this case and all the others take a crack at trying to figure out what happened. The theories get more and more weird, some intersect with reality (but in a kind of blurry way, so you’re not really sure whether it was fact or fiction), some are pure concoctions fuelled by the number of drinks poured into the narrator.

The movie, in any case, would live or die by its ending and I felt cheated at the end. It was unintentionally funny and lead to much mirth and merriment amongst the 50odd people watching it in the hall. The laughter was more at ourselves, the kind where you laugh at how you’ve been taken for a fool. It’s the kind of film which drives you straight into the cold embrace of a frothy beer, so in the overall scheme of things, it still ends well…

The Incredible Hulk

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 114 Minutes
Release Date : 27th June ’08 (India)
Director : Loius Leterrier ; Writer : Zak Penn
Starring : Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt, Tim Blake Nelson
I enjoyed the first part of the first half here, where Bruce Banner (Edward Norton), trying to lead a normal life in the favella’s (slums) of Brazil, attempts to come to grips with his gamma over-exposure. He tries to learn to control his anger, which of course is one of the triggers leading to his transformation to the big bad green man…(there is another more interesting trigger, but unfortunately, despite a willing Liv Tyler, we never saw how that turned out).

His life there, though is interrupted by the US troops tracing him and landing there, and he is forced to go on the run once more and return to the US. One soldier in particular, Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), makes it a kind of personal mission to lock horns with him again, and aided by the (insanely dumb ?) General Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross, is actually given injections from the extinct super soldier program, to transform him as well into something not quite human

So, the second half, is all about one computer generated figure (the Hulk) fighting another (a genetically enhanced Tim Roth). Or how the Hulk copes with whatever gizmos the General can throw at him. Though, like the Hindi movies of yore, where the villains / henchmen would always attack the hero one at a time, the General also chooses to attack him with only one thing (tanks, cannons, gunships etc) at a time. Apparently concepts like Bush’s ‘Shock and Awe’ or the German’s blitzkrieg methods from WWII have yet to pierce the unit the General runs.

The interesting part here is only watching how Liv Tyler’s relationship develops with the Hulk, how she is able to calm him down etc. I think they missed a trick here, it would have been far more interesting to make it more like a Batman Begins, going into Edward Norton’s thought processes and his way of looking at the things happening to him (as they did with Christian Bale in Batman Begins). That probably would also have been a better way of utilizing Edwards undoubted acting talents, which were a trifle wasted here. There is clearly a sequel being planned, and its highly unlikely I’m going to watch it.

I also think that it was a bit too violent / scary for the primary audience of Hulk, the under-teens. A good barometer of how much the movie makes a mark on my son is the toys he takes out and begins to play with the next day. After Superman, it will invariably be his Superman toy, after Spiderman 3 it was Spiderman etc. All of today, the Hulk has remained safely confined to his toybox. It clearly failed to fire up his imagination in that sense…

Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 145 Minutes
Release Date : 27th June ‘08
Director & Writer : Kunal Kohli ; Music : Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy
Starring : Saif Ali Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Rishi Kapoor, Amisha Patel and the four kids (Akshat Chopra, Shriya Sharma, Ayushi Berman and Rachit Sidana as the Sikh boy)
Its one big cliché, the whole movie and if it were not for the cute sardar kid, the rating would’ve been lower by at least 2 points. Its way too predictable, right from the punishment, to what happens in the middle, and of course, the ending.

Rich, introverted industrialist (Saif) kills a couple in a road accident, court sentences him to take care of the couple’s four kids (two girls and two boys, one an adopted sikh boy, a nice touch) who range from 5 years to a sullen early teen types. When they move in, he obviously can’t cope, the kids play pranks on him etc and he decides to go for a nanny as his girlfriend (Amisha Patel) is a rich, ‘shopping is the solution to everything’ kind of person. Enter God (a smiling, beatific Rishi Kapoor), who sends one of his favorite angels (Rani), a ‘Maria of Sound of Music’ type character, to make them come together and then return to heaven. One of his preconditions is that she not use any of her magical powers but that is completely ignored… (and that bugs me throughout the film…I think it would’ve enhanced the story if she hadn’t)

In any case, some cute pranks (the bathroom being occupied), some nice touches (nice chat between the sardar boy and Saif in one scene), some nice animation (a hundred times better than Ganesha or Hanuman), one completely inappropriate song, with a bikini that was too short and a swimming pool underwater scene that was too long for a kids movie, some laughs and emotion towards the end. And whaddya know…its over…

Kids will enjoy it. Adults will find it very so-so. To baat saaf hai, deviyon aur sajjanno, agar aap bachon se sachmuch karte hain pyaar, aap picture se nahin karenge inkaar…

De Taali

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 146 Minutes
Release Date : 20th June ‘08
Director : E.Niwas ; Writer : Abbas Tyrewala ; Music : Vishal-Shekhar
Starring : Ritesh Deshmukh, Aftab Shivdasani, Ayesha Takia, Rimi Sen

A nice, cute, goofy movie. And thankfully it remains light and frothy throughout, some parts more hilarious than the others but never taking either the vulgar or the slapstick route.
Three friends, two guys (Aftab and Ritesh) and one tom-boyish girl (Ayesha), have known each other since forever. One boy is mega-rich (Aftab), others are middling to hard-up. Due to some egging by other parties, girl begins to have feelings for rich boy. He, however, proceeds to fall for someone inappropriate (Rimi). What happens next ?

The following samples should help you decide if its your brand of humour or not…
 One of the events in the movie happens at a Big B party – where all people dress up as different characters played by Amitabh Bachchan, mouth his famous dialogues etc
 Ritesh, in one scene, wears a T-Shirt saying ‘I scored last night…’
 He addresses different people with different flowery urdu salutations “Bahaare – e- Gulzar” etc
 There was a hilarious torture scene, I can't say more but the fifth degree was brilliant, it would’ve made even me crack
 There’s a very nice confrontation between Aftab and Ayesha towards the end…I’ve used Aftab’s style later in a couple of personal situations and it works !

Slightly predictable, again wont change your life, but likely to make you laugh in a few places without completely insulting your intelligence. And surely that’s worth the price of a ticket…

Summer 2007

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 160 Minutes
Release Date : 13th June ‘08
Director : Suhail Tatari; Writer : Bijesh Jayarajan ; Music : Gourav Dasgupta
Starring : Sikander Kher, Gul Panag, Alekh Sangal, Uvika Choudhary, Arjan Bajwa, Prashant Naraynan, Ashutosh Rana

I’m going to give the film 10 for intent / content and then deduct 3 for cinematic failings and a slightly preachy script / ending. It highlights an issue (of farmer suicides) that somehow, to paraphrase the laconic words of a good doctor in the movie, gets overshadowed in our daily news by Bollywood gossip, cricket, some child falling in a hole etc. This movie brings you face to face with this reality, takes us out of our air-conditioned comfort zone and shows us what life really is like in villages, where people commit suicide for amounts we would find trifling. A word of caution – this film is not for the squeamish, there are several very uncomfortable, gory moments

It tells the story of a gang of five medical students (the first 5 characters in the star cast above), a mixed bag of characters, all fairly well off, mostly self-centered except for Gul Panag (affectionately known as Mother T because of her militant / rebellious / over-zealous helping tendencies). To flee a minor troublesome issue in college, they decide to go for their mandatory rural service with the plan being to choose a place near Goa, where they can chill out etc. They however, arrive smack bang in the middle of a spate of farmer suicides, to join a seemingly indifferent doctor, a local toughie who is the grain provider cum money lender of the village and his goon-like son, who is single handedly responsible for no female help willing to work in their household. How they slowly become involved in the life and the issues of the village is the focus of the second half. And it doesn’t always make for very pleasant watching.

For me the crucial cinematic shortcomings were the length (its quite a long watch at almost three hours), the fact that it’s a bit preachy, a bit forced in parts. And that a lot of the characters weren’t really developed – so we didn’t understand fully how / why they changed and got involved in a battle which was ‘none of their business’ to begin with. Also, in the first half, some the dialogue tries too hard to be ‘cool’ and ‘with it’ so it doesn’t really work. The music (both the background score and the rather ‘forced’ songs) detracts from the movie plot.

The acting, though not truly consistent, is good. Sikander – the leader of the group – was ok. His acting is not great but is likely to get better over time. Gul Panag was good, credible in her acting, as you would expect though her character was a bit too screechy / do-gooder for my liking. The real stars were Arjan Bajwa, the Casanova of the group, the guy who actually looked cool without trying too hard and made his presence felt despite having the least screen time. The doctor of the village, very well played by Ashutosh Rana, a man who wants to do good but is not beyond human vices (sex, drink). And the son of the local toughie, played by Prashant Naraynan (last seen by me in the brilliant Waisa Bhi Hota Hai Part II), who again churns out a strong performance.

I hope the film results in a few things. More medical students (and why not other / MBA students etc) wanting to do rural service as part of their course. More institutions offering micro-finance coming up through the country. And finally, us, the urban city slickers, being a bit more sensitized to the issues most farmers face in their life, a life so far removed from ours, that they could literally be living on another planet. I hope next time there is an article about farmer suicides, we will actually read it rather than skipping straight away to the sports page. Given the almost disastrous box-office response of the film though, this may be too much to hope for.

The Happening

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 91 Minutes
Release Date : 13th June ‘08
Director & Writer : M Night Shyamalan ;
Starring : Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Ashlyn Sanchez

I think M Night Shyamalan has lost his Sixth Sense, I can see the Signs, its clearly Happening.

I think there must be a reason why you want to spook people, some message you want to get across. If suddenly people start killing themselves, and it spreads like an epidemic throughout the north-east of USA, then for sure it spooks you. Also people finding different innovative ways of killing themselves doesn’t make for pleasant watching in the best of times / movies. And it drags – more people kill themselves, we get exposed to some of the classic American nut-cases, then more people kill themselves. And we still don’t know why…

Mark Wahlberg, as a science school teacher, plays his part pretty convincingly. Somehow, recently, I’ve had an overdose of him, having seen him in ‘The Invincible’, and ‘The Shooter’ apart from ‘The Italian Job’ (the remake, one of my favourite movies). Maybe it’s a sign ? He was good in this movie as well, trying to manage his wife and a kid while trying to figure out whats happening amidst the bewildering going-ons. It’s a well made film, as far as the art of film-making goes. Some nice jokes, a lot of tension, some emotion etc. But you cant help but wonder what was the point of it all !?

I loved Sixth Sense, didn’t think much of Signs and successfully dodged his other movies (Village, Lady in the Water). I think the director is on a non-stop downward spiral. I was proud of myself for predicting the ending, for predicting the way he would end the film. Until my wife cattily remarked it could be because I’ve started thinking like him. After watching the Happening, that wasn’t a compliment…

The Third Wave (Aka Den Tredje Vagen)

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 115 Minutes
Release Date : 15th Oct ‘03
Director & co-Writer : Anders Nilsson ; Writer : Joakim Hanson;
Starring : Jakob Eklund, Irina Bjorklund, Marie Richardson, Ben Pullen

A woman opens an email from her boyfriend, which shows he’s doing money laundering for the mafia. She can’t go to the cops, they’re bought. She sees someone on TV, talking about fighting organized crime across Europe, creating a new division called Europol, and decides to approach him for help. The Europol chief has also called to the same meeting place an ex-cop /friend to persuade him to join his division. Also, thugs of the mafia, who know that she knows, land up at the same venue to try to kidnap her and take her to their headquarters.

What happens next involves a lot of killing, running, hiding, tension and thrills across different cities in Europe. The movie has a very nice European flavour to it – maybe I liked it so much just because it felt good, reminding me of the time I used to roam the same cities (Den Hague, Munchen, Bruxelles) and say the same words (Daag, Tchus etc).

It flows along at a good pace, occasionally slacking up as the protagonists try to figure out whats happening in this complicated jigsaw. Also joining them in their chase, are the ex-cops pregnant wife and daughter, providing an interesting angle to the proceedings. There is a nice twist in the ending, one which even makes one of the villains who’s dying, smile as he falls down.

It’s very well put together and is apparently part of a trilogy with Johan Falk. I saw it on Zee Studio recently (Sony Pix and Zee show some very good, different titles unlike the mainstream crap on HBO and Star Movies) and thought you might be able to catch it on DVD circuit. After all, there are very few films with as interesting a tag-line as ‘An entire continent is being stolen’.

Sarkar Raj

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 125 Minutes
Release Date : 6th June ‘08
Director : Ram Gopal Verma ; Writer : Prashant Pandey ; Music : Bappi-Tuttul
Starring : Amitabh, Abhishek & Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Ravi Kale, Dilip Prabhavalkar, Rajesh Shringarpore, Govind Namdeo, Upendra Limaye

Ignore the hype, ignore the sheer star power, ignore that it’s a sequel (successor to Sarkar)and ignore the similarity (or not) to the Thackerays. And you still have a very interesting, original film, one that doesn’t hesitate to take a path rarely traveled in Bollywood. It is let down (albeit only marginally) by some patchy dialogue – its very good in parts and mediocre in others. Plus there were some bits which were unreal (almost straying into sermonizing in a couple of instances) and others we saw too much of – I cant say more for fear of giving it away – but this still doesn’t detract from a very good cinematic experience, one where you’re constantly wondering whats going to happen next and one where what does happen, does actually surprise you.

The story is only incidental, another excuse to showcase the political in-fighting, backbiting that characterizes most politics in India. Like most other movies it connects the mafia / rule of brute force with the politicians and it does showcase how some petty, vested interests ensure the nation remains backward. A foreign company wants to invest in a mega powerplant, the largest in the world / India, in the Thackerwadi region in Maharashtra. The politicians advise the company, which is fronted by Aishwarya Rai (daughter of the owner), there is no chance of relocating the 40,000 odd people of that region and hence proceeding with the project. It then reaches Sarkar (Amitabh Bachchan)…


I loved the acting, especially of the three Bachchans. Amitabh was sensational, easily the patriarch of the film, dominating it with his presence, even though he didn’t have the most screen time. I thought Abhishek acted very well, a mature performance, that of a person coming to grips with running his father’s business. Aishwarya, as you know I’m biased towards her, but I thought a) she looked great b) she looked different – effortlessly fitting into the power dressing of todays business women c) she acted very well, going from a woman clearly out of place in the politics, kind of like Alice in Wonderland, to someone, who though still not entirely at ease, is beginning to make sense of it all (thanks to some tutorship). The scenes between Amitabh and Abhishek were the highlights of the film – they share such an easy on-screen chemistry that you really wonder how they are in real life. The other character actors were very good, giving life to their roles. I also loved the last scene – I don’t think there was a better way to depict that life and business go on…


Not so great were the songs (ordinary), the background score (over reliant on the ‘Govinda Govinda’ theme) and the blood and gore. I also thought that the business aspects of the power plant – why is it actually so good for Maharashtra or why does it have to be in Thackerwadi were completely glossed over, while some reasoned debate would have enhanced the film.

RGV has redeemed himself with this one, only a bit though. It’ll take a lot longer for me to forget his Aag….

Aamir

Rating : 8/10
Running Time : 90 Minutes
Release Date : 6th June ‘08
Director & Writer : Raj Kumar Gupta ; Music : Amit Trivedi
Starring : Rajeev Khandelwal
A genuine surprise, this one, and very unlike a normal hindi movie. Don’t watch if you’re in the mood of light, timepass entertainment. Watch it though for some great acting, a very authentic and gritty look at the bylanes and Muslim areas of Mumbai, some good dialogue, a fantastic background score and some great editing which never lets the tension slacken.

Aamir, a Muslim doctor in UK, decides to return to India and lands in Mumbai airport. Outside the airport, he can’t find his family and no one responds when he calls home either. That’s when his nightmare begins. Two strangers on a motorbike hand him a mobile phone and when it starts to ring, Aamir finds out that a stranger knows everything about him, has kidnapped his entire family and now wants Aamir to follow his instructions or else…

The instructions take him all over Mumbai, in small by-lanes, dirty hotels, std phone booths etc. A man who was walking the pristine streets of Windsor / Eton a few short hours ago, is soon having to gingerly step over faeces in a public lavatory in some city lodge. And all this while he has no idea what the stranger wants him to do. And his every move is watched, the mobile has outgoing barred, the strangers henchmen seem to be everywhere !


Rajeev is outstanding. No other word fits his performance. He displays the whole gamut of emotions – from incredulity to anger to pleading – he goes through all of them flawlessly. Everyone else fits their parts well – they really don’t seem to be extra’s performing a part. Its apparently copied from a movie Cavite. However, its so nicely adapted to Mumbai / India / Muslims that this doesn’t detract anything from the film at all in my eyes. The ending does a bit – I wish they had gone for a different one but nothing else truly fit the characterization of Aamir they had shown.

I also found the ideological debate between Aamir and the stranger fascinating and they balanced it well, never letting it get too weighty. As someone once said, poverty is the most fertile breeding ground for terrorism. Because when you’re poor and things aren’t going your way, then every setback seems like a perceived injustice, another reason to don arms and fight against the perceived oppressors.

Like I said, its not an easy or light subject matter, but is made eminently watchable by the brilliant direction of Rajiv Kumar Gupta and the equally brilliant acting of Rajeev Khandelwal. The tension is not the type where it makes you bite your nails, but rather hovers over the atmosphere, like a dark menacing cloud. However, there’s enough of a cool breeze to still make it an enjoyable day out.

Woodstock Villa

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 94 Minutes
Release Date : 30th May ‘08
Director : Hansal Mehta ; Writer : S.Farhan and Rajiv Gopalkrishnan ; Music : Anu Malik
Starring : Sikander Kher, Neha Uberoi, Arbaaz Khan, Gulshan Grover
Yet another set of star progeny get introduced, Sikander (son of Anupam and Kirron Kher) and Neha Uberoi (daughter of Suresh Uberoi). After the disastrous Saawariya, I thought I was off such launch films, but this one wasn’t so bad after all. And yes, the leading pair may actually have a future in Bollywood after ironing out a few rough edges. .
Sikander plays a stud who’s penniless, down on his luck and also has to pay back a ‘Bhai’ type Gulshan Grover, who basically gets Sikander beaten up every time they meet since he still hasn’t gotten his money back. His luck changes or so he believes, when a seductive siren walks in with a get-rich-quick scheme. Validating the empirically proven ‘there’s a sucker born every minute’ saying, Sikander accepts and soon things have gone awry and he’s running to save his life with the cops breathing down his neck.

There are a few logical flaws but what really pulls this movie down is the predictability of the plot – there is nothing really new here and you can predict every curve, every twist and every turn more accurately than an F1 circuit, if you’ve seen a few film noir movies like Body Double, Just Cause etc. The dialogue, while natural, doesn’t really enhance the film and is sadly lacking in any witty repartee. Finally, the songs are an unwelcome intrusion and slow down the movie. The acting is good overall (not great but good), its pretty slickly done, runs along at a fairly nice clip. One of the big pluses for me was that I found Neha Uberoi to be very easy on the eyes. Have a look at the photo below
and to paraphrase George Clooney in Oceans Eleven, if she doesn’t look like your brand of vodka, then you might as well stay away from the film.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 124 Minutes
Release Date : 22nd May ‘08
Director : Steven Spielberg ; Writer : George Lucas, David Koepp ; Music : John Williams
Starring : Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf, Jim Broadbent, Ray Winstone, Karen Allen
This is a fun movie, if, like Bond movies, you’re willing to suspend your disbelief at some of the stunts, some plot elements and the fact (like most Hindi movies of yore) that even though 100 bullets are fired from ten guns, not one is going to hit the leading man.

Indiana Jones is older, but has lost none of his enthusiasm or sense of humour. The plot (does it really matter ?) is just another excuse for him to indulge in his twin favourite pastimes of going to ancient ruins (which are now only marginally older than him…just kidding…) and bashing the baddies. The ruins in this case are located in Peru, around the Nazca Lineas / Cuzco, and it was very nostalgic to see the Soviets making a comeback as the baddies – I had been missing them and the Koreans, Iraqi’s, Afghani’s etc somehow don’t evoke the same emotion as the blank-faced beefy blond guys they usually manage to dig up to masquerade as the cold Commies of yore. Adding extra spice to the proceedings are two subplots, one involving a James Dean / ‘Easy Rider’ imitator (Shia LaBeouf) and the other involving the McCarthy era communist witch-hunt which characterized the USA of the fifties (and then we get surprised when the USA does a similar witch-hunt, this time spurred by the spurious 'war on terror' and imprisons people in inhuman conditions without trial in Guantanamo Bay ? What was that about ‘history repeats itself’ ?).

There are moments where you blink and shake your head incredulously at what you’re asked to believe (how Indiana Jones manages to match a giant Soviet army specimen blow for blow in a fistfight, for instance ? A real fight would have not lasted more than 30 seconds). However, in most cases, you go along with the flow, admire the scenery, the special effects, the beautiful booby traps they conjure up and laugh at the steady stream of one liners…It was also refreshing to see them desist from showing any eye candy…in most Hollywood and all Bollywood movies they would have succumbed to temptation and shown a nubile young twenty something falling in love with the older man. Maybe I’ll feel differently when I’m older but right now it still seems too desperate and unreal and I'm glad they didnt.

If all else fails, you can still enjoy watching the venerable Mr Jones crack the whip and make all those around him dance to his tune. Enjoyable from the first to the last moment but not one that’s going to leave a lasting impact or change your world.

Jannat

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 140 Minutes
Release Date : 16th May ‘08
Director : Kunal Deshmukh ; Writer : Vishesh Bhatt ; Music : Pritam
Starring : Emraan Hashmi, Sonal Chauhan, Javed Sheikh,Vishal Malhotra, Samir Kochhar

I’m probably being over-generous here but after some of the turkeys I’ve seen in recent times (U Me aur Hum, Mr Black Mr White , Tashan, and even Bhootnath), this was actually a bit of a relief. An unpretentious film, very natural dialogue (at times quite funny) and decent performances overcome the lack of depth and the melodramatic, predictable ending.

The movie follows the rise and rise of a small time gambler (teen patti player, the Indian equivalent of poker) who, based purely upon his intuition, starts to bet on cricket matches and then cannot stop winning. Soon he becomes a bookie and then is hired by a big underworld don from South Africa to become his match fixer. All this is interwoven with his relentless and extremely expensive pursuit of his queen of hearts – a girl he spots in a mall one day and of course, its love at first sight (is there any other kind in Hindi movies ?).

She, with a little egging from his father (a good, honest, poor man), tries to find out whats the secret behind his sudden wealth but he makes a ‘love means never asking questions’ kind of pact (‘don’t ask and I wont lie’ were his exact words). However, she obviously does find out one day, co-incidentally around intermission time, and what happens next is the focus of the second half. I was able to think of at least a couple of good, interesting endings but unfortunately the makers of this one chose to play it straight, though I liked the little touch they gave in the very last scene.

I’ve actually avoided Emraan Hashmi movies, thinking of him as quite a one-dimensional actor, frankly puzzled by his success. But based on this one, I’ve done him a disservice – he was quite nice, likeable, doing justice to a character who speaks little but knows what he wants. Sonal was ok, nice to look at, with time may improve as an actress. Javed Sheikh provided the necessary gravitas to the role of mafia don while Vishal Malhotra and Samir Kochhar were good as Emraan’s best friend and the cop who’s on Emraan’s trail, respectively (ever noticed how, after Dhoom, the sartorial sense of cops has improved dramatically ?). Also, special mention of a nice cameo played by a character named Patel Bhai, I couldn’t find his name anywhere on the net.

Don’t go looking for any depth in this one and you wont be disappointed – it’s a film where one song is all it takes for the courtship, another for the obligatory under-the-covers scene and a final one for the lover’s tiff and that’s pretty much that as far as the love affair goes. If you can look beyond that, the title song is pretty nice and some of the dialogues will keep you entertained, may even make you laugh.

Celebrating A Century of Reviews

I recently completed a hundred reviews and decided to celebrate by writing about it. I feel like a movie director felt when the film completed a silver jubilee in the good old days or 50 days in the current slam bang multiplex era. I never thought this far ahead when I began reviewing but I have truly enjoyed watching the movies and writing about them. Writing especially, is something I had lost touch with during my professional career, and it feels great to be able to put non-work related thoughts to the computer screen.

I also have an impressive collection of statistics
• I’ve watched a 100 movies (mostly Bollywood) in the period from 13th July’06 till May’08 working out to a average frequency of 4.5 movies per month – kind of one every weekend.
• This has consumed approx 500 hours of my already incredibly hectic professional & personal life – that’s almost 21 full days !
• Total spend approx ~Rs 45,000, a shade over $1000, in watching the movies
• Readers from over 250 cities, across the 6 continents, view my blog / read my reviews. The map above shows last months dispersion – it gives me so much personal satisfaction to view this, I cant even begin to describe it.
• Total page views would be greater than 20,000 over this period.
• Movies that I have enjoyed the most (the non-mega releases, in no particular order) : Loins of Punjab Presents, Cheeni Kum, Manorama Six Feet Under, Khosla ka Ghosla and Dor
• Movies that I have loathed : RGV ki Aag (I still cant believe how someone can ruin Sholay !), Buddha Mar Gaya (the only movie I walked out of, during the interval), Baabul and Red.

My family has been incredibly supportive. It’s almost a dream come true for my wife as she gets to watch all the recent releases along with someone who, in the ten years prior to Aug’06, had not watched more than 5 hindi movies. My kids have enjoyed themselves as well – they either watch the movie or if it’s not good enough, punish the cinema hall for its bad taste by running around the whole hall and doing their best to wreck it by jumping on the seats etc. Even my parents have joined me whenever they can, willingly in the case of my mom and a tad reluctantly in the case of my dad.

I’ve also found myself getting more and more involved in the world of film-making. I’ve now met producers, actors, script-writers and very recently a script-writer cum lyricist. I’ve found out much more about the entire business of cinema – who makes money, how are deals structured, how there is now some amount paid for branding in almost every scene etc. Also, once you take away the A-list, it’s a world where people struggle to make ends meet. Take away the glamour and it’s just another job. I also think that our cinema is too reliant on the A-list stars – there have been no commercial hits I could think of in my reviewing period that did not have at least one or two stars, which is sad.

This exists because directors / producers are excessively obsessed with the songs and stars and not enough on the script / dialogue. I also loathe the trend of dumbing down movies, with a very elitist view of ‘making it accessible for the masses’, ‘this is what people want etc’. If you have the guts to make a good film, holding on to its creative integrity and soul, the same masses welcome it and flock to the cinema. Taare Zameen Par is a marvelous sentimental, emotional film which was restrained, not once did it go over the top or fall prey to providing cheap thrills yet was a blockbuster with gross earnings of Rs60 crore ($15 mn) in India alone. Cheeni Kum is today called a multiplex film (still raked in Rs30 crore at the box office) but in an era long ago there were brilliant, commercially viable films like Abhimaan, Chupke Chupke etc which touched on bold themes or entertained without falling into the slapstick trap. I think making a good film takes balls and if you succeed, the rewards will come, punto !

I’ve personally now written one full-fledged script and have two more outlines written out. Some day I hope to bring them to life. I also need your help, for another project I have in mind. I would like each of my readers to list their top10 hindi movies (preferably the ones shot in colour) in the comments section. If they are ranked fine, else even just the list is great. Also, If there are 13 or 8, don’t knock yourself out making it 10, that’s only indicative…

Your thoughts on my thoughts are welcome as always. Until the next review, then…

Bhootnath

Rating : 4/10
Running Time : 150 Minutes
Release Date : 9th May ‘08
Director & Writer : Vivek Sharma ; Music : Vishal-Shekhar
Starring : Amitabh Bachchan, Juhi Chawla, Aman Sidiqui and Shahrukh Khan in a very long guest appearance
The movie is about a ghost in a house (Amitabh as Bhootnath), who normally scares would-be residents away, but befriends a kid who’s come to stay, has some fun with him and then gets very very emotional in the second half. Above-mentioned kid is accompanied by Juhi as mom, while SRK as daddy works on a ship so is absent for large periods. This film forced me to ask several deeply philosophical questions. Can ghosts choose who they are visible to and whom not ? Can they decide to change their preferences or does this get ‘locked in’ ? Are they stuck to a place (like a house) or are they free to roam (go on holidays etc) ? Can they move physical objects ? Can ghosts cry ?

There were some nice touches in the film. I think more could’ve been made of Satish Shah’s fetish for tiffins, more could’ve been done with even the ghost and how it used different means to scare different people off. Maybe they could’ve even made it ( another philosophical one - do ghost’s have gender ? Is ‘it’ ok or should it be ‘him’ instead ?) a ghost who was just having fun (kind of like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day) instead of being a sulking, seething ghost ? Aman thankfully behaves like most normal kids do and is not sickly sweet like most Bollywood kids, except in a couple of scenes where he’s a got a ridiculous mix of ‘Kodak moment’ meets ‘Close-up confidence’ kind of a grin/smile. And Rajpal Yadav is getting too predictable and irritating. Do something different or retire is my humble plea - there are better ways to make money.

I think the director / producer here couldn’t quite figure out who was their target audience. Was it kids and adults who behave like kids or was it adults who behave like adults ? If it was the former, then the second half was too soppy and sentimental and even the first half needed a few more laughs. If it was the latter then the first half was too frivolous and even the second half’s sentimentality was a bit forced, a bit much-a-do-about-nothing. So the film, kind of like its lead character, Bhootnath, inhabits the mid-world, and is neither here, nor there. Being an active and hopefully lifelong member of the adults-behaving-like-children club, I just wish they had gone whole hog on the laughs !

PS – I think its safe to take kids to this one – some ‘scary’ moments in the first half but nothing which will lead to sleepless nights or huge psychiatry bills later in life…

Mr Black Mr White

Rating : 2/10
Running Time : ~140 Minutes
Release Date : 2nd May ‘08
Director & Writer : Deepak Shivdasani ; Music : Too Many People Who created horrible soundtracks
Starring : Arshad Warsi, Suneil Shetty, Sandhya Mridul

This movie suffers from the curse of the multiple S’s…
• Stupid Story
• Silly Slapstick
• Simpering, Soppy Sentimentality
• Slinky, Sleazy Sexiness and Skin show
• Scatter-brained Sub-plots

It was too painful to watch, makes you cringe in several places, the story has more flaws than Rakhi Sawant’s body jobs and the only people who laughed during the movie were these 6 year olds sitting near us. A waste of Arshad, Sandhya and Suneil’s acting talents (especially considering Sandhya and Arshad were last together in the brilliant ‘Waisa Bhi Hota Hai Part2’).

No other comment necessary. And I still don’t understand why the name ?

Sirf

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : ~150 Minutes
Release Date : 25th April ‘08
Director : Rajaatesh Nayar ; Writer : Santosh Saroj ; Music : Sohail Sen, Shibani Kashyap
Starring : Kay Kay Menon, Manisha Koirala, Parveen Dabbas, Rituparna Sengupta, Ranvir Shorey, Sonali Kulkarni, Ankur Khanna and Nauheed Cyrusi

I’m going to give this one 5 cause of what they attempted, the messages they sought to give. They didn’t tie it all up as well as they could, it lacked finesse, the production values were poor and the songs were terrible / misfits. But it was decent and very realistic.

Its about four couples and each one is shown facing different issues, have different things on their mind. Also, each one envies the other couple who reside slightly above them on the social ladder (their names of the couples are given above in order of social hierarchy). There are one or two characters who weren’t fleshed out fully – for Kay Kay and Manisha, I struggled to pin point the key issue, as the main problem they showed was too trivial, could’ve been solved quite easily. Key messages of the film
1. Most humans truly think the grass is greener on the other side, especially if the object of their envy is wealthier. Even the wealthy ones yearn in some ways for the simplicity of life when they were not so wealthy. And neither truly comprehends exactly what the other couple’s are going through.
2. We sometimes postpone what is truly critical (in personal life) for some ‘crisis’ or the other at work. As someone said, no one died regretting that ‘he didn’t spend enough time at the office’. Yet, one of the sad facts of life is, the rat race seemingly magically compels us to do so…
3. Indian couple’s are terrible at communicating with each other. I think most of us get so dragged in the routine ‘who’s doing what, when, how’ that we forget the why, the big picture. Half the problems shown amongst the couple’s could’ve been solved by better communication

The acting was good overall, with Ankur probably being the weakest link. Dialogue was reasonable, quite true to life without being mundane. Its pretty interestingly set-up at the interval but definitely had some issues, none more glaring though, than whats mentioned in the first para. I would also have handled the ending differently – I would’ve preferred the points to come across without some of the drastic steps taken by the script writer. Also, I wish they’d not made the stunning Rituparna look as terrible as she did – she fit her role perfectly, but I wish they had cast someone else instead.

Depends on your mood this one, depends on how your relationship with your spouse is placed on the day you watch it (you’ve had a fight, are making up etc) to determine what you make of the movie. Its not going to change your life but most couples can probably pick up a thing or two from this bittersweet movie.

Mixed Doubles

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 94 mts
Release Date : 10th Feb ‘06
Director : Rajat Kapoor ; Writer : Rajat, Anurag Kashyap ; Music : Sagar Desai
Starring : Konkona Sen Sharma, Ranvir Shorey, Vinay Pathak, Rajat Kapoor, Koel Purie, Saurabh Shukla

An old release that i finally managed to get hold of. Its an interesting one, touching a topic that not too long ago was taboo, would’ve had people from assorted minority groups protesting in front of cinema’s screening the film, breaking windows etc. Probably the fact that it was not a big banner and therefore wouldn’t have made the news prevented them from doing so. Its another Rajat Kapoor film, starring his usual suspects (Ranvir Shorey, Vinay Pathak, Saurabh Shukla) and one unusual one (Konkona Sen)

The movie deals with ‘swinging’, the type of parties where a couple go together but come back separately (if you still don’t get it, the movie is definitely not for you). The plot is simple enough with Ranvir Shorey being the middle-class husband who is having middle-age problems in terms of being able to keep it up. He loves his wife (Konkona Sen) but wants something to spice up their marriage and once he hears of this concept, he cannot get it out of his mind. After a lot of effort, he manages to find a like-minded couple (a suave Rajat Kapoor and a slightly ‘wonky’ Koel Purie), finds a devious, underhand way to get his protesting wife to agree and soon its time for the big night…

There are certain truths which are established in the movie quite clearly
1. Males are still hypocritical when it comes to the topic of sex, especially the extra-marital variety
2. People in Rajasthan eat rabbits
3. There is still a class-divide prevailing, and we mercilessly make fun of people who cant speak English properly
4. Don’t trust everything NRI’s say. They aren’t always as cool as they pretend to be.

Konkona looks lovely in a short bob-cut and effortlessly slips into character. The others are good, as always. The movie, however, doesn’t quite scale the heights of greatness. It’s the type which is pleasant to watch, makes you smile in a few places but never makes you laugh out loud (nor is it trying to). I wish they had made more of the ending, it was pretty interestingly set-up when it ended and I was hoping for more. It’s a nice, realistic, slice-of-life view of suburbia and is content to be a hill without any aspiration to become a mountain. Please also read Rajat Kapoor’s hilarious commentary on his life and also about marriage on his website.

Tashan

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 160 Minutes
Release Date : 25th April ‘08
Director & Story : Vijay Krishna Acharya ; Music : Vishal - Shekhar
Starring : Saif Ali Khan, Akshay Kumar, Anil Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor
This is a film about cheap thrills. A flat-stomached Kareena in a bikini and other skimpy little nothings, who’s hour glass figure had even the women raving, was undoubtedly the highlight of the movie. Everything else didn’t really measure up, pun intended.

Its more Cash than Dhoom2 (or even Race). It’s a movie that tries very hard to be cool, which is why it fails. Its more about hype / style than strong intrinsics or substance. The plot is laughable, thinner than a Pringles. The characters are all caricatures with Anil Kapoor’s one-joke, ultra-hammy ‘Bhaiyya ji’ probably being the worst. The twists / turns would have been better off in another movie. The ending is farcical, the fight / action sequences are so over the top, they make Everest seem like a mole-hill. And there are several pathetic sub-plots, with the whole ‘gudiya’ angle however, easily taking the cake and all other party foods in its sheer terrible-ness. The songs are all forced and mostly tasteless. Kareena looks gorgeous, overdoes the pout a bit, but no complaints overall. The rest were terrible.

This is nothing but a three hour extension of the two-minute Akshay action sequence that was shown in Om Shanti Om. Its likely to be his first film in quite a while which is not a major hit. As one of my friends remarked, this just proves that Yash Raj films has officially lost it. I, however, understand why they were having yet another battle with the multiplexes about the share of spoils in the initial weeks – they knew that its highly unlikely to be running after that !

U Me Aur Hum

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 165 Minutes (in India), 150 mts internationally
Release Date : 11th April ‘08
Director : Ajay Devgan ; Writer : Ashwani Dheer ; Music : Vishal Bhardwaj
Starring : Ajay Devgan, Kajol, Isha Sharwani, Divya Dutta, Karran Khanna, Sumeet Raghavan
Its more fun watching paint dry. Or watching grass grow. At least that doesn’t make you feel icky-yucky all over. I think a good comparison would be hearing nails scratched over a blackboard.

Ajay woes Kajol on a cruise ship. A very predictable love story (including some pathetic pick up lines that would normally merit a cold shoulder at best or a call to arms at worst) becomes a descent into psycho-medical mumbo jumbo and then becomes predictable all over again. We know nothing much about the two lead characters (how do they think, what are they looking for in their soulmate) apart from the superficial ("I like white", "I don’t like salsa" etc). The camera angles are way too close and slightly wonky, some of the songs are forced, and the role requires Ajay to be way too expressive. I think he’s much better in dead-pan, brooding sort of roles.

Some much needed comic relief comes from Karran Khanna (the 'Pushpa' one deserves special mention), one half of the 2 couples/friends Ajay’s character has. Ajay’s directors note on the official website is actually quite a good read, but he doesn’t manage to translate his thoughts in his debut directorial venture, like ‘a film should entertain’, into reality.

The restlessness in the audience while watching was palpable and the most common sight around the hall was the good old yawn. The predominant thought people walked out with here was ‘where can I get a drink to help me forget this’? I blame this movie for being directly responsible for the three pitchers of cocktails that my group consumed during lunch and for being generally low-key through the rest of the day. It was too obvious and too painful.

Krazzy 4

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 130 mts
Release Date : 11th April, ‘08
Director : Jaideep Sen ; Writer : Ashwani Dhir ; Music : Rajesh Roshan (with a little help from Ram Sampath)
Starring : Arshad Warsi, Irfan Khan, Juhi Chawla, Dia Mirza, Rajpal Yadav, Suresh Menon
Imagine 4 mental patients are taken for a day out by their doctor. En-route, the doctor stops for an errand and then disappears. Now the four are left by themselves and have to figure out where their doctor is. Interesting ? I thought so too…

However, then the producer / director and scriptwriter conspire to ruin the movie by dumbing it down, adding every single PJ they could think of, throwing in every emotional trick in the book to vainly spice it up including lost love, cute daughters, villainous husbands etc and force-fitting numerous songs which totally break any momentum the movie starts to build, including pathetic item numbers (there’s one with Rakhi Sawant flashing abs which put Shahrukh to shame. As an aside, can anyone think of any other woman on the silver screen who looks more sluttish than Rakhi ?). Finally, the performances were highly ordinary, with all the actors entering ‘sleepwalk’ mode.

Why then did I give it 3 ? Because it made me laugh a few times. There is an imminent threat of a part2 as this one ends with a ‘to be continued...’ but I will enjoy skipping that one. And that my friends, is that.