Ek Tha Tiger

Rating : 4/10
Release Date : 15th August, 2012
Time : 133 minutes
Director : Kabir Khan; Writers : Kabir Khan, Neelesh Mishra; Music : Sohail Sen and Sajid-Wajid
Starring : Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Girish Karnad, Ranvir Shorey, Roshan Seth, Gavie Chahal

This film creates a new genre. We’ve had mindless comedies, romantic comedies, action films. This one is a mindless romance, with a touch of action and lots of unintentional comedy. Missing is the slickness or tightness or the set piece sequences of action films. Missing is the emotional depth of earlier romantic YRF films, here it is literally like two songs and pyaar ho gaya. And most sadly, missing are the memorable, larger than life characters of several films from the same production house, giving us only shallow, cardboard cut-outs instead.

Nothing makes sense. Not Salman’s, a deadly RAW agent’s, mission, to find out what a professor is upto (surely there are easier ways of surveillance in todays era of satellite technology and phone taps ?). Not his finding Katrina there, as the professors housekeeper, who’s apparently had full access to his house for the last six months but spends most of her time dancing with her vacuum cleaner & choreographing plays. Not Salman’s falling for Katrina (didn’t really take much to make him fall for her). And then the inevitable discovery of who is who in reality and the equally inevitable drama that follows.

You’re left with several questions as you watch. If you were an agent on the run, would you behave as our friendly neighbourhood RAW man behaved, or would you show more discretion ? For example, if you were caught on CCTV (even mouthing the words ‘we need to run’), would you peacefully be watching a fight in an open square the next day ? Surely there would be some practical conversation with Katrina before taking some of the steps they take ? And perhaps some emotional conversations with her, before or after falling in love ? Everyone, though, RAW, ISI, our lead pair, behave as if they’re inhabiting planet dreamland.

Salman looks cool, though maybe a bit stiff and definitely overweight. Katrina looks gorgeous, none more so than while wearing a kilt during a song.

Some of the comic moments of the first half are good – Salman’s collecting milk amongst his neighbours comments, the DD / Zee joke, the hotel check in and even in the second half the small solution to the door with multiple locks, all bring smiles to the face but the meandering storyline quickly wipes it off. The visuals of the song ‘Banjara’ were good, wish the lyrics were as memorable.

No amount of fancy locations, super slo-mo action, A list leads can paper over the fundamental lack of a sensible story. I walked in expecting a slick action thriller. What I got was a mushy, senseless romance. Best to walk in with no expectations, then perhaps there is a chance it works for you.