Shaurya

Rating : 8/10
Running Time : < 120 mts
Release Date : 4th April, ‘08
Director : Samar Khan ; Writer : Jaydeep Sarkar, Aparna Malhotra, Samar Khan ; Music : Adnan Sami
Starring : Rahul Bose, Kay Kay Menon, Minissha Lamba, Amrita Rao, Deepak Dobriyal
This is gripping, intense stuff, definitely not for those looking for light hearted entertainment alone. Its clearly inspired by ‘A Few Good Men’, but its better in most respects except at the end, in terms of how it brings it all together. AFGM had a more logical connect, carried the audience with it a bit better.

Javed Khan (I’m terrible with army ranks so wont even try) is accused of killing his peer officer, Rathore while on a search operation in Kashmir. He is maintaining a stoic silence, refusing to speak to anyone. There are quite a few witnesses, so it seems like an open and shut case. Since he is a Muslim, there is also the inevitable talk of him being a terrorist supporter. Also, since their unit reports in to Brig Rudra Pratap Singh, the self styled Lord, God and master of the area, who is destined for a big promotion shortly plus since Rathore was one of his favourites, the case is a very high profile one. Jaaved Jaafri and Rahul Bose are both great friends, employed in the army as legal officers. While Jaaved is about to get married, and is a more serious, stable kind of guy, Rahul’s life is all about adventure sport, dating etc. They get appointed on opposite sides of the case, with Rahul getting the unenviable job of defense. One of the people he meets in Srinagar is Minissha Lamba who is a journalist who wants to make it big. How the case fares, how the different relationships get on is the focus of most of the movie.

I don’t think I have seen a better performance than Kay Kay as Brig Pratap. He was awesome, roaring vitriol in one second, calmly discoursing on the merits of single malt in another.

Rahul Bose was very good as the defense lawyer, his role also required him have a Jekyll and Hyde personality. To be a good for nothing frivolous guy yet introspective. Be disinterested one moment, but willing to put his job on the line in another. It was refreshing to see Jaaved Jaafri doing a role of substance as well. The last couple of times I saw him he was doing a caricature in one movie (a Crocodile Dundee rip off in Salaam Namaste) and a cartoon in another (Dhamaal). Minissha Laamba was good and Amrita Rao made a positive impact in the few scenes she had. And a special mention of Deepak Dobriyal who played Javed Khan, he was almost unrecognizable from his earlier role in Omkara and was very good as well.

Where the movie was very good was Indianising the plot, making it very credible and keeping the interest going throughout the movie. They built the climax up very well, and towards the end, there was hushed silence as the audience watched the drama unfold. Also, what they managed very nicely was keeping the tension going but not letting it get too heavy with some very nice humorous touches. Where it suffered was at the editing table, where I really feel with some minor changes, the end could’ve been made even more exciting, things explained more clearly.

However, let nothing detract from the sheer watchability of the movie. It has some excellent performances, brilliant dialogue and lovely humour. And it builds up beautifully to an explosive, emotion charged climax. I really enjoyed this one, a good movie at last that is cerebral, requires you to use your brain and is very intelligently made. Samar Khan, in a very refreshing Director’s note on the official website, stated that he doesn’t care about the box office success but if only 40 people saw it, he wants 39 to say it touched them. By that criteria, on the basis of the group I saw it with, the film is a roaring success !

Anuranan

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 113 Minutes
Release Date : NA
Director & Story : Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury ; Music : Tanmay Bose & Aashis Rego
Starring : Rahul Bose, Rituparna Sengupta, Raima Sen, Rajat Kapoor
I saw this little gem of a Bengali movie yesterday night. Hard to describe, since most of the beauty lies in the dialogue, the relationships and the breathtaking cinematography of the Kanchenjunga mountain range.

Rahul Bose is an architect / project head of a company that transfers him from London to Kolkatta, where he has to execute an eco-tourism project overlooking the Kanchenjunga for a company headed by Rajat Kapoor. Their wives are Rituparna Sengupta and Raima Sen respectively and most of the movie focuses on the inter-relationships between them – more specifically Rahul’s relationship with the two of them.


He is a mischevious, creative, artistic person, prone to making observations on life on his Dictaphone, uneasy at parties or on a dance floor but happy reading / conversing or just watching people / life go by. He makes friends easily and his friendship with Raima reminds her forcefully of what her life has become, stuck in a marriage with a dominating husband obsessed with making money, wishing she can be a bird in her next life. Rituparna is shown to be a sensual, loving, slightly temperamental wife who can’t get over the fact that she can’t have kids.

The ending is slightly jarring. Probably, like the relationship between Akshaye Khanna and Dimple in Dil Chahta Hai, it was the directors way of showing that some relationships are never meant to be understood. I also feel that some more time could’ve been spent on some of the relationships / conversations – which were easily the best part of the film.


The movie is a reminder of the beautiful, lyrical quality of the Bengali language – it was lovely hearing the words roll of the characters tongues. Rahul Bose was very good – I don’t know why but he seems much stiffer in Hindi films, while here he was relaxed, bringing life to most scenes featuring him. Rituparna looks and acts stunningly – very very sensuous and sultry, she is a treat to watch and I can't fathom why is she not appearing in Hindi movies ? Raima’s is very good as well, slightly restrained, as befitting her character but making her emotions come through nonetheless.

Anuranan means resonance and the movie is all about trying to find people with whom you resonate…what a beautiful thought to end the day with….

One Two Three

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 137 Minutes
Release Date : 28th Mar ‘08
Director & Writer : Ashwini Dheer ; Music : Raghav Sachar
Starring : Suneil Shetty, Paresh Rawal, Tushar Kapoor, Isha Deol, Sameera Reddy

An interesting premise, unnecessarily dumbed down and converted into brainless slapstick in the vain hope of being a ‘mass comedy’.

Three people, all named Lakshmi Narayan, check into the same hotel and receive instructions on what they have to do next. Suneil Shetty, an employee of a car dealer, has to buy a car. Paresh Rawal, a retailer of ladies undergarments, has to see some new designs. And Tushar Kapoor has to kill someone. The three instructions get predictably mixed up and mayhem happens. The director / producer / writer could have now chosen 2 routes
• making a comedy (like Khosla ka Ghosla) which all could have enjoyed
• making a timepass movie by making everything slapstick (like Dhamaal), with generous dollops of crude, sexist humour and brainless fun.

To be fair to them, seeing the commercial success of Golmaal, Welcome and Dhamaal, you can’t argue with the financial part of their reasoning. Suneil, Paresh and Sameera were as good as they could be. The rest were one cacophonic blur…

My kids loved it, there were a lot of people laughing in the audience but I was only weeping at the loss of 1600 bucks and the wasted time…a lot of my family members also felt I was being over-generous with a 3 rating. Guess it takes all sorts to make a world.

Black & White

Rating : 4/10
Running Time : ~120 Minutes
Release Date : 7th Mar ‘08
Director & Writer : Subhash Ghai ; Music : Sukhwinder Singh
Starring : Anil Kapoor, Anurag Sinha, Shefali Shah, Habib Tanvir

There is something about religious fundamentalism which is so alien to my constitution that this movie made me uneasy – it wasn’t pleasant watching. It traces the story of Nuwair, a muslim fundamentalist, raised in Afghanistan, who has come to India to be a suicide bomber at the Independence Day celebrations at Red Fort on 15th August and stays with some sympathizers / ‘relatives’ in Chandini Chowk (area in Delhi, near Red Fort).

One day, in a chance encounter, he meets Professor Mathur, renowned professor of Urdu in a university and a well respected and well connected personality of the area. Due to various reasons, Numair realizes he has to make friends with the professor and needs his help to make his plan successful. What happens, how does his plan fructify and how does his relationship develop with the professor and his firebrand wife, is the focus of most of the movie.

One thing that comes through quite clearly is how lucky we are that most Muslims living in India are not fundamentalists. Numair, shown to be a quiet, intense and very narrow minded in his thinking is quite perturbed to find music, dancing, drinking and even mixing with Hindu’s, quite common amongst his support group. I was lucky to experience this close-hand in Bangladesh as well – to find most Muslims there very chilled out, relaxed unlike the rabid fundamentalists of the Gulf.

I think where the movie really lets itself down though is in its overall amateurnishness. There is a lack of slickness, its jerky, the acting of most of the people is either over the top or very B-grade. And the sets are almost laughable (especially the Afghanistan bits). The dialogue is quite ordinary, again doesn’t flow smoothly with very few exchanges sticking in your memory – there was a real opportunity missed here to have some philosophical exchanges between the professor / his wife and Numair. The songs are good, some quite hummable.

So, a movie which makes you squirm, made me uneasy for most parts. The ending is quite irrational, a bolt from the blue. Something interesting conceptually but it fails to fulfill its true potential. Noble intentions, but there was something amiss in the overall package…

Race

Rating : 8/10
Running Time : 154 Minutes
Release Date : 21st Mar ‘08
Director : Abbas-Mastan ; Writer : Shiraz Ahmed ; Music : Pritam
Starring : Saif Ali Khan, Akshaye Khanna, Bipasha Basu, Katrina Kaif, Anil Kapoor and Sameera Reddy, Dalip Tahil

One non stop adrenalin rush….more twists and turns than the crookedest street in the world (San Francisco)…a plethora of pretty, skimpily clad (young ?) things…a horde of handsome hunks and highly strung horses …and full of fast cars and even faster double-crosses … kind of like ‘Wild Things’ on skates…

Life is not easy for Ranbir Singh (Saif), elder brother and primary heir of a large horse racing empire. He is ruthless and plays hard but fair (unlike the Aussie cricketers who only pretend to do so). He is saddled with a few double crossers, an alcoholic good for nothing younger brother Rajiv (Akshaye) and some unidentified people trying to kill him…but he’s indestructible and aided by a gorgeous girlfriend (Bipasha) and sexy secretary (Katrina) he’s not doing too badly, despite the evil machinations of rival horse owner (Dalip Tahil)….

Now, that’s all I can reveal about the story – else I will start giving away key plot elements…suffice to say that the next 150 minutes go very easily in one breathless rush, hardly giving pause for air, in a very slick, sensational mix of cross and double cross…

Its very nicely done. The key characters are sufficiently built, they (and some of the stunts) are definitely over the top but not beyond the point of losing credibility or stepping into the territory of ridiculousness. And its very slick, very heady and you’re begging for more when it ends (I really hope they’re thinking of a part2).


Star of the movie, beyond a doubt was Saif. The man has reinvented himself so many times that you’ve run out of counting fingers…this is a new, lean, mean, muscular action hero. Looking every inch the part…no more adorable, boy next door, no more the lovable rogue. This is a serious, restrained, brilliant performance. And he looks every inch the part – in fact the only time he looks out of sorts is when he is dancing some silly steps in one or two songs. Akshaye was good – he’s got a meaty role and does enough with it to make it credible. Bipasha was hot as ever as was Katrina (in a slightly smaller role). Sameera and Anil Kapoor come on as detectives in the second half – I thought some of the humour here was out of place, not needed – too slapstick and unnecessarily crude / sexist. Both did their roles justice though and I really admire the way Anil has managed to reinvent himself as well. Sameera also proves she can act if you can look beyond her more obvious assets.

It was a very enjoyable experience and having it set in one of the most beautiful countries in the world (South Africa) helps add to the glamour quotient. Like this review, most of the movie is about hyperbole but there are enough thrills and spills to make the price of the entry ticket worth it ! a very well spent three hours…beautiful people, beautiful places and some very evil thoughts and devious plans…I’ll fall for it hook, line and sinker every time…

Sanjay & Suneil's Yaaron ka Tashan

The Making of "Yaaron ka Tashan"

The "Yaaron Ka Tashan" commercial

Sanjay Dutt's Mardangiri

I found this great...

Jodhaa Akbar

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 213 mts
Release Date : 15th Feb ‘08
Director : Ashutosh Gowariker ; Writer : Haider Ali ; Music : A R Rahman
Starring : Hrithik Roshan, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Kulbhushan Kharbanda, Ila Arun, Suhasini Mulay, Sonu Sood and Punam Sinha.

Viewers of this film will be forced to make a choice.

They will either choose to be swept away by the wonderful visual imagery of this period drama, the awesome scale of it all, the undeniable charisma of the two leading stars, the very solid performances of all the character actors. They can soak in the authenticity, the clothes, the jewellery and the elaborate sets, and even the formal language, the relaxed pace and the overall ambience.

Or they can choose to focus on the lack of a powerful, stirring storyline (a la Lagaan), they can focus on the length and the fact that its more a series of sub plots which comprise the film without a truly unifying plot, they can complain about the lack of a great climax or the fact that there are periods during the film when you can look around the hall and wonder what everyone else is thinking. They can complain even about the formal language, the relaxed pace and the overall ambience.

I think it totally depends on your perspective, the mood you go in with, the degree of the expectations etc. As for me, as my rating suggests, I'm more in the former camp than the latter (I was actually at sixes and sevens between giving it a 6 or 7 and then decided to be generous). I enjoyed the way the it does wrap you up in its atmosphere and transport you into another era. I also acutely felt the lack of a great ending / a single focal point in the film and was disappointed that Ashutosh was not able to bring it all together like the cricket match in his earlier film.

The movie is about a Muslim prince entering into a alliance with a unwilling Rajput princess due to political expediency and then charting how their relationship develops, the court intrigues, the foibles of that era etc. The clear highlights were the performances of the leading pair, both easily fitting into that era, changing their walk, language and mannerisms to suit their characters. If you want to see how not to do it, you can observe Abhishek in the remake of Umrao Jaan, where he seemed to mouth the dialogue without believing in the lines or their meaning and his walk still retained the jauntiness of the twenty-first century rather than the stateliness of another era.

The other notable features were the sequence involving Hrithik practising sword-fighting in front of Aishwarya's room (made interesting when he realises she's watching), the fight with the elephant and two magnificient songs, one 'Khwaja mere Khwaja' because of its simplicity and spiritual picturisation and the other, 'Azeem-o-shaan Shahenshah' because of its scale, choreography and grandeur.


In this film when you walk out, you do it with no great emotional change or no provacative thoughts mulling around your head. So in that respect it is a 'time-pass' film. However, it is a beautiful experience, enjoyable for those who relish this kind of thing and its made all the more magical by the presence of Hrithik and Aishwarya, who, according to me, continue to be the best looking screen couple in the world.

Mithya

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 100 Minutes
Release Date : 8th Feb ‘08
Director : Rajat Kapoor ; Writer : Rajat Kapoor and Saurabh Shukla ; Music : Sagar Desai
Starring : Ranvir Shorey, Naseerudin Shah, Neha Dhupia, Vinay Pathak, Saurabh Shukla

I think the rating would probably be 7/10 for the first half and 1/10 for the second…

It starts off as a kind of comic ‘Don’ (or Don on skates, to be more precise) and then…,well I’m not quite sure what happens next really except to say that it crashes and burns. The 20 minute ride back home at 1am in Pune was actually more interesting than the second half (thanks to the amazingly narrow exit at the Inox car park, two idiots in Indica’s who felt the desperate need to race each other and a very lazy autodriver who, from my left lane, felt the sudden, inexplicable yet compelling urge to u-turn)

We shouldn’t take anything away from the first half where Ranvir, Vinay and Brijendra Kala combine spectacularly to provide us a barrelful of laughs. Ranvir is excellent throughout the movie and hopefully this movie can help him appear in more meaningful roles vs the comic cameos so far. Neha Dhupia confidently struts her stuff (pun intended, she has potential, this girl). Naseer is good and the whole thing is brilliantly set up. Which is why the events of the second half are absolutely baffling – I really struggled to stay awake, my wife actually managed a gentle snore and even when we returned home, despite a debate, we couldn’t be sure exactly what had happened. It was like a football match where two sides go hammer and tongs at each other in the first half for a 3-3 halftime scoreline and then replace their strikers and decide back-passing to their respective goalies is the best form of offense for the whole of the second half. Baffling, absolutely baffling, the mysteries of day to day life continue to confound, I tell you…

I’d complained in the previous review (of Sunday) about how the director couldn’t make up his mind whether he wanted to make a comedy or a thriller. Imagine the complication when the director here decides to make a comedy – thriller cum romantic movie ? I’ve known a lot of successful comedy –thrillers (48 Hours, Stakeout, Beverly Hills Cop spring to mind) and even more romantic comedies or rom-coms as they’re affectionately called (When Harry Met Sally, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Pretty Woman all were great to watch) but I struggle to name one which successfully spans all three genres…And I’d been so looking forward to this one ! What a pity….

Sunday

Rating : 4/10
Running Time : 135 Minutes
Release Date : 25th Jan ‘08
Director : Rohit Shetty ; Writer : Robin Bhatt ; Music : Shibani Kashyap / Daler Mehndi & others
Starring : Ayesha Takia, Ajay Devgan, Arshad Warsi, Irfan Khan

Or how to remake a brilliant film into a very timepass movie
Sunday is a slightly loose remake of Anukokunda Oka Roju, a fantastic Telugu film which my wife and I saw only a couple of months ago. I say slightly loose because it effortlessly manages to murder the essence, the surprise elements and the ending. It does dial up the comedy – the combined talents of Arshad Warsi and Irfan Khan do have some very funny moments together, but overall it falls far short of what could’ve been…

The basic premise of the movie is simple. A girl goes to a party. When she wakes up in the morning, she’s a bit hazy about what has transpired and then suddenly finds strange unknown people trying to kill her. Piecing together what happened at the party and making sure she remains in one piece then form the basis of most of the film.

Here, the trailers reveal too much about the plot (destroying some of the surprise), there is not enough time spent on the character development of the girl, too much time spent showing off the big star (Ajay Devgan) or the comic talents of Arshad / Irfan. Also, there are far too many stunts in what’s supposed to be a ‘realistic’ story, the ending is completely illogical – at least a couple of life-threatening flaws and there is a desperate attempt at commercialism via 2-3 unnecessary item numbers. Performances are very ordinary, couple of hummable songs and as mentioned before, there are some very funny moments…but then that’s about it….

I think the director / producer got very confused here – should they make a comedy or a thriller ? Should they stay true to the spirit of the original or bow to commercialism ? In both cases, they unfortunately made wrong choices and led to a waste of a Sunday…

Dharm

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 103 minutes
Release Date : 8th Jun ‘07
Director : Bhavna Talwar ; Writer : Varun Gautam / Vibha Singh ; Music : Debajyoti Mishra
Starring : Pankaj Kapur, Supriya Pathak Kapur, Hrishta Bhatt, Krish, KK Raina, Dayashankar Pandey, Pankaj Tripathi.

Most people across the world have their religious prejudices and Indians are no exception. The anti-Muslim prejudice is probably the strongest one and the cause of most grief for us over the last 50 years, despite India being the country with the largest Muslim population in the world. And as outlined in the review of Mr & Mrs Iyer, it shows no sign of abating...

Now thats just the common man. What if you're Pandit Chaturvedi (Pankaj Kapur) ? A man with a very strong standing in Benares, the head priest of the local Shiv Mandir. A man who bathes twice if touched by a sweeper, who insists his wife (Supriya Pathak, his real-life wife as well) bathes before serving food, is always punctual no matter what. A man who lives life as per the Manu Smriti, the ancient Hindu text. Fate puts them in charge of an abandoned baby boy, which his wife and daughter manage to persuade him to 'adopt'. At first hesitatingly, but then increasingly, over the next four years, he and the child, named Kartikey, develop a strong bond. Imagine his shock when one day, the child's mother returns to claim him again. And it turns out the child is Muslim....

Bhavna, in her directorial debut is very assured and deft in her handling of this complex topic and manages to communicate the angst and dilemma Pandit Chaturvedi goes through extremely well. Pankaj Kapur is brilliant once again, looking every inch the all-knowing Pandit. I think we're privileged to have him and 3-4 extremely good chamaleonic character actors in our midst currently, including Vinay Pathak, Arshad Warsi, Boman Irani, Rajat Kapur amongst others. KK Raina and Pankaj Tripathi, playing a local rich man and his rebellious, angry son respectively, were also very good as was Dayashankar Pandey as a 'rival' mercenary pandit. The cinematography is breathtaking, calm and serene, a nice contrast to the turmoil Panditji's going through mentally and the communal riots around them. The end left me a bit unfulfilled – however, can't elaborate why without giving it away, so will desist.

I love movies which provoke, engage the brain, force you to choose sides. This is one of them. As the official website says 'Manavta Paramo Dharm' – I cannot agree more and it saddens me that most religions or rather its practioners have drifted from this core. And yes, I think this would have been a more worthy entry for the Oscars instead of Eklavya.

Halla Bol

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 180 minutes
Release Date : 11th Jan ‘08
Director & Writer : Rajkumar Santoshi ; Music : Sukhwinder Singh
Starring : Ajay Devgan, Vidya Balan, Pankaj Kapur, Darshan Jariwala

The movie made me recall certain incidents I'd heard / seen recently...
1) A politicians son was playing Diwali very recklessly, throwing burning crackers near the neighbours kids. When the neighbour objected, he ignored him and continued. The neighbour went and held his hand to stop him. The son went inside, came back with his four armed to the teeth security guards. One placed a pistol on the neighbours forehead, began to abuse him and ask him how dare he touch the son. Another slapped him a couple of times. And then they told him to go back to his house, shut of his lights as Diwali had ended for him. Only when his family (parents, brother etc) apologised profusely, he was allowed to go back to his house without further damage.
2) There was a traffic jam due to roadworks, where cars were lined up in a very long line, creeping forward inch by inch. Suddenly, on the right (on the wrong side of the road), a Maruti 800 comes roaring up and tries to cut in the line but since there is no space, ends up blocking the traffic going the other way. As everyone yells at the car for making a bad situation worse, the co-passenger of the Maruti gets out of the car, yells back at everyone else, ensures his car breaks the queue and then drives off.
3) A dalit person recently had his eyes gouged out for daring to elope with his upper-class girlfriend.

These are all true incidents, cases of the frightening new reality of 'might is right' and of people in India, especially the soft-bellied middle class choosing to keep quiet as they watch artrocities / injustice happening all around them.

Halla Bol brings to the forefront this very reluctance, this very tapestry of wrongs being inflicted upon our society. So whats new, why should we watch this one ? Its quite well made (very good script), not very preachy and lit up by some outstanding performances. Sameer Khan (Ajay Devgan) is a superstar, at the zenith of his success and doing all the things a celebrity does including make people wait hours for him, taking 'personal' auditions from nubile aspiring starlets, back-stabbing fellow actors, endorsing products purely for money etc etc. In short (and I can vouch for some of the above having dealt with some celebrities recently), he behaves like a typical Bollywood star. Suddenly, an incident happens which forces him to choose a path – he has to either speak out and incur the wrath of the high and mighty or be quiet, lie and take the easy way out. He chooses the latter.
However, he is clearly uncomfortable with the choice and via flashback we see how he has come up in life. How, from doing street plays with his guru, Siddhu (Pankaj Kapur), a fearsome dacoit turned theatrical actor / playwright, he has fought his way to the top. How he changed as a person, from being a bit of a firebrand, believing in causes, to becoming someone who only cares for wealth and fame, becoming estranged from his wife (Vidya Balan), parents and even his guru. What happens next and the consequences is the focus of most of the movie.

Okay, its predictable, the plot is nothing really new but as I said before, there is still something to the movie which keeps you gripped from start to finish. The opening part is very slick, full of light hearted poking at the current Bollywood set-up. The second part is reasonably real and so can be uncomfortable to watch. There are one or two very nice songs – I really liked 'Is Pal ki Soch', sensuously sung by Harshdeep Kaur. Ajay Devgan is very good – he handles the lighter moments with aplomb (there is one scene where for a few seconds he practices a smile in front of a mirror) and later he morph's quite easily into a man torn apart by his choice, bearing the burden of guilt etc. I've realised that Ajay's forte is films which require him to communicate through silence rather than dialogue. As in Omkara, he is very good as the strong / silent hero, managing to communicate a lot just by his demeanour and facial expressions. I dont think anyone broods on screen better than him, and I mean that as a compliment.

However, the true star of the movie for me was Pankaj Kapur – he was simply outstanding. Filling the screen with his personna, alternating between strong silence and powerful outspokenness. The best scene of the movie was when he lapses into baby speak when faced with the carrot and threat scenario from one of the high and mighty...it was brilliant and he was unrecognizable from the last time I saw him on screen in Blue Umbrella.

Another of the high and mighty is shown to have an uncanny resemblance, appearance and profession wise, to Vijay Mallya. I didn't get / understand the background to that ? Any enlightenment here would be welcome. Also, we took the kids along with us and I dont think that was such a good idea.

I dont think of myself as a coward, am well-educated, well-to-do, fairly well-connected but I, like the many millions alongside me, have developed the knack of looking the other way, of shying away from taking a stand, of taking the easy way out. As Gandhiji's brilliant satyagraha movement proved, its very difficult to get the Indian masses mobilised to actually do something. Its far easier to get them not to do something. Halla Bol puts you face to face with this characteristic of ours. Its not a movie for the squeamish or someone looking for light hearted entertainment. It puts a mirror in front of us individually and, in most cases, we may not like what we see...

My Name is Anthony Gonsalves

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : NA
Release Date : 11th Jan ‘08
Director : E. Niwas ; Writer : Mayur Puri / Lajan Oomen Joseph ; Music : Pritam
Starring : Nikhil Dwivedi, Pawan Mallhotra, Amrita Rao, Anupam Kher, Lillete Dubey, Mithun Chakraborty.

Very predictable, yet better than expected. This tells the story of a wannabe actor, Anthony Gonsalves, and his desire to make it to the top with most of the twists coming from a intertwined storyline about some Mumbai gangsters, including one who has brought up the orphaned Anthony and now employs him in his nightclub.

There is very little substance or anything new in the movie, but it manages to keep you engaged. Nikhil is decent, i thought he carried off being a 'sweet tapori' fairly well. He may struggle, with his looks, to carry off other characters and may well have to take up 'friend' type roles with the A level celebs in future films. Amrita Rao was decent as the love interest / eye candy, looks every part the pretty girl next door but should avoid trying to look the sexy seductress (was laughably attempted in one song). Lillete Dubey, Mithun and Anupam Kher were good, as expected. Star performer of the movie though was definitely Pawan Mallhotra - he was very very good as a Mumbai gangster, exuding menace and intimidation yet displaying a lighter side, some integrity and the stereotypical heart of gold.

For me, this was a good example of a time-pass movie – some non-slapstick laughs (the 'Kaalia' sequence was great), some thrills and spills, all in a very light-hearted vein and you leave the hall after 3 hours with nothing major lost or gained...

Manorama Six Feet Under

Rating : 8/10
Running Time : 138 minutes
Release Date : 21st Sep ‘07
Director : Navdeep Singh ; Writer : Devika Bhagat, Navdeep Singh ; Music : Jayesh Gandhi, Raiomond Mirza
Starring : Abhay Deol, Raima Sen, Gul Panag, Kulbhushan Kharbanda, Vinay Pathak

I don’t care that this film is ‘inspired’ by Chinatown (Btw, you can see a clip from this film during the movie), that it isn’t completely original. I think Navdeep Singh, in his directorial debut has done a great job of ‘Indianising’ a very complex plot and, especially if you haven’t seen Chinatown, keeping you glued to the end of the film.

Satyaveer (Abhay Deol) is a failed writer of detective stories, a la James Hadley Chase. His first book, Manorama, sold only 200 copies and he doesn’t even keep a single copy of his book in his own house as it reminds him of his own failure. He is now a site engineer in a very small town, called Lokhat, in Rajasthan – and even suspended from that job on suspicion of taking bribes.
He enjoys a love-hate relationship with his wife, Nimmi (Gul Panag). They clearly love each other but she doesn’t waste any opportunity reminding him of his failure to achieve anything. Throughout the movie they continue to have a running conversation about the people they’d met for marriage before they got married to each other. Their humdrum existence however, is infinitely spiced up when Manorama (Sarika) walks in unannounced and hires Satyaveer to spy on her husband, P.P.Rathore, the MP, ex-king and prominent personality of the town. She suspects him of having an extra-marital affair and wants Satyaveer to photograph / catch him red-handed. But as in most JHC novels / film noir’s, nothing is what it seems and one twist is topped minutes later by another revelation. The plot is further enlivened by Brij Mohan (Vinay Pathak), a local cop and Nimmi’s brother and Sheetal (Raima Sen), who works in an orphanage run by PP Rathore / is Manorama’s room-mate.


The brilliance of the film lies in combining the steamy, constricting nature of the plot with some lovely Indian touches – both in terms of language (ages since I heard words like ‘KLPD’ or even ‘zara si savdhani, zindagi bhar aasani’ for example) and in terms of the scenery (beautiful shots of the desert, great expanses of nothing, where the emptiness of the landscape is combined with lots of action). And I loved the way the film is paced – moments where nothing is happening are suddenly followed by frenetic action, peace and calm replaced by threats, intimidation and brutal violence. The performances are great as well. Abhay Deol is a revelation – I didn’t think he had it in him to do such a role, manage the different nuances required from him, plus it was an inspired decision to have him with a moustache / stubble, totally transforming his look. Gul Panag is very, very good (as you would expect) and Raima Sen & Kulbhushan Kharbanda do all that is required of their characters. The other revelation is Vinay Pathak as a rogue cop, who cannot utter a single sentence without mixing it with three profanities, who thinks nothing of beating up prisoners with a belt in front of his young nephew, who is good friends with his brother –in-law and even advises him about his marital problems (with his sister). I’ve realized that one of the things that makes Vinay such a good character actor is how he varies his body language and voice to totally blend in with the role he’s playing.

I like film-noirs and I’m thrilled there were two decent ones in Bollywood this year (Johnny Gaddar being the other). Navdeep Singh shows great promise with his deft handling of this very complex subject. And in fairness to him, he hasn’t copied Chinatown, scene by scene but just taken the essence and transferred the locale masterfully to rural Rajasthan (kind of like Vishal Bhardwaj transferring Othello to Uttar Pradesh in Omkara). You will enjoy this one whether you’ve seen Chinatown or not, it’s a good film in its own right !

Taare Zameen Par

Rating : 9/10
Running Time : 165 minutes
Release Date : 21st Dec ‘07
Director : Aamir Khan ; Writer : Amole Gupta; Music : Shankar, Ehsaan & Loy
Starring : Aamir Khan, Darsheel Safary, Tisca Chopra, Vipin Sharma, Sachet Engineer

Have we ever thought about how easy it would be for a Pied Piper to come and steal all our kids away ? It wouldn’t take much, would it ? What do we really offer them, right now ? A life full of discipline and homework, an unyielding drive for progress, bound to timings, curriculum and the ever pervasive rat race ? Even when we do extra-curricular activities, we make it as bad as work - are we on time, are there special classes, how good are they, will they be successful ? When do we really let them just be kids, with their own special time ? Can't we just let them enjoy childhood, before they enter this big bad world of grown-ups and of adult rules ?

Such are the thoughts that flit through the mind as you watch this Aamir Khan masterpiece, borne out of a lovely story woven by Amole Gupta and his wife Deepa Bhatia through their work with children over the years. Its about a eight year old kid, Ishaan Awasthi, who finds it difficult to focus on letters or numbers, to catch or throw a ball, to generally do the things we expect children to do. He has failed in the third standard, which is a major source of misery to his middle class parents, whose other son, Yohan, is a topper. The school is now threatening to throw him out since everything points to his failing again. He is a misfit, preferring to live in his world of dreams, finding solace in the company of animals or anything else that catches his fancy. He loves to paint, is good with jig-saws etc but these things of course, will not help you pass the exams. Borne out of frustration, as a kind of punishment, and also with a intent to help him improve through greater discipline, he is put in a boarding school. The discipline, rules and punishments there though, break his spirit instead, making him retreat into his shell. He stops communicating, stops painting, stops talking to his parents. And then a temporary art teacher joins, Ram Shanker Nikumbh, who has his own theories on how to teach children.


I think the only flaw in the movie is that it’s a bit one-sided – it directs you a bit ruthlessly to its point of view and doesn’t totally give the perspective of other characters, like the mother, who just weeps silently in most of the second half.

However, I gave it a 9 rating because it beautifully reminds us what is it like to be a child again without hiding the thorny side of being young ! It brings back the innocence, the simple things that make us happy, the way we could play for an hour with just a little piece of wood, the way anything was possible in our imagination. It also points out how kids can be ruthless and unmerciful when they gang up, how 'survival of the fittest' applies aptly to school classrooms and playgrounds, how most schools and teachers of today have no time to hold the hands of children who are laggards and will not improve the grade point average of the school etc. Of how parents love their children but don’t have time in this stressful world to truly understand their needs. They just push them to fulfil their own unmet dreams and want them to achieve what they define as success – ie winners in the never-ending rat race… (as Ram Nikumbh says in the film, maybe they should breed horses instead ?)



It is intense, this movie (my wife’s one word description) and at quite a few moments tears can well up (mine) or even flow non-stop (my wife). However, it is enlivened by beautiful songs, lovely animation (for a change, including one inspired by Calvin and Hobbes 'Spaceman Spiff') and brilliant performances, which never allow it to become heavy, gloomy or sombre. The song 'Jame Raho' is a hilarious description of our current middle class lives, while the title song is extremely touching. Aamir Khan is great (as always), managing to get his point of view across very credibly, seamlessly fitting in to Ram Nikumbhs skin without a false step. Darsheel Safary is outstanding as Ishaan, making us fall in love with him and the private world he inhabits, empathizing with his predicaments, delighting in his naughtiness and drawing joy from his little successes. The mother is very well played by Tisca Chopra, caught between a square husband (well portrayed by Vinay Sharma) and a non-geometric son. Don’t miss the credits at the end as well, the montage of children alongside the credits make it worth waiting for.

This is outstanding heart-warming stuff, hats off to Aamir for once again taking on an off-beat topic and bringing it to life in his directorial debut. As he says in his note on the official site, to children and to childhood....

And if they dare send another movie to the Oscars, they’ll have to deal with me !

Welcome

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 157 minutes
Release Date : 21st Dec ‘07
Director & Writer : Anees Bazmee ; Music : Sajid-Wajid, Anand Raj, Himesh Reshammiya
Starring : Akshay Kumar, Anil Kapoor, Nana Patekar, Katrina Kaif, Feroze Khan, Malika Sherawat, Paresh Rawal

I know timepass movies / comedies are 'in' this year in Bollywood, but this one takes brainlessness and slapstick to a new extreme. It may sound familiar, but it combines a non-existent plot, very silly gags, a considerable star cast, trashy item numbers and what scares me is that they might still succeed at the box-office.

Akshay is a bit wasted in his role as a bachelor in Dubai, where his uncle (Paresh Rawal) is trying his best to get a suitable girl for him. Katrina is the sister of a mafia Don (Nana Patekar) and both he and his trigger-happy friend (Anil Kapoor) are trying their best to get her married as well. Thats it, thats the whole plot but they manage to stretch it, twist it, add unneccessary characters, stupid sub-plots till you plead for mercy. The ending has to be one of the most farcical, contrived & unrealistic ones in recent memory. The songs are terrible, forced and intrusive, apart from the title song (which only appears during the end credits by which time all you want to do is escape). The only reason it even reaches a 3 rating is because the acting is decent and some of the jokes make you laugh (almost despite yourself).

It was supposed to be a comedy but I left with a heavy head, feeling cheated. A sad waste of my and the actors time...

Strangers

Rating : 2/10
Running Time : 100 minutes
Release Date : 15th Dec ‘07
Director : Anand Rai ; Writer : Gaurav Sinha, Himanshu Sharma ; Music : Vinay Tiwari
Starring : Kay Kay Menon, Jimmy Sheirgill, Nandana Sen, Sonali Kulkarni

The main premise is borrowed from 'Strangers on a Train' by Alfred Hitchcock . 2 strangers meet in a train, realise their lives are miserable due to their respective spouses, for both divorce is not an option (understandable in one case but not really in the other). The obvious solution is for them to do each other a favour and knock them off, and since there is no motive / its random, the police will never find out. At least thats the theory.

I found the movie very forced and a waste of KK's considerable acting talents. The dialogue, the setting, the plot - I think made sense in a different era - not in todays day and age. I also got the distinct impression of the script trying to be too clever and there were too many stop start moments. KK, as mentioned above, looked uncomfortable. Jimmy was a complete misfit - his character requires him to be an actor, an artistic type who is spontaneous / creative etc. I dont think he was right for the role - he suited the role in Hum Tum, where he plays a solid, successful, marriageable type guy, but not here. Nandana Sen was good, looking adequately sultry and conveying what her character is supposed to feel though too many tears / weeping scenes for my liking. This is yet another movie set in London - Bollywood film-makers are ensuring that I never miss London by constantly showing the familiar scenery - here you got an eyeful of Osterly tube station, a glimpse of Richmond, the inside of Spearmint Rhino (the last one not that familiar personally).

It could've been very good, but due to lack of imagination, adaptation and character development, is instead very ordinary. Waste of a Sunday afternoon.

Khoya Khoya Chand

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 132 Minutes (I think its longer in India, but can’t be sure)
Release Date : 7th Dec ‘07
Director & Writer : Sudhir Mishra ; Music : Shantanu Moitra
Starring : Soha Ali Khan, Shiney Ahuja, Vinay Pathak, Rajat Kapoor, Sonia Jehaan

It’s a period movie, set in the 50’s and relates the story of the off and on romance between a budding writer Zafar (Shiney) and an upcoming actress Nikhat (Soha). Both rise in their respective professions with more than a little help from the superstar of that era Prem Kumar (Rajat). Prem is also sleeping with Nikhat in return, and professes to love her. However, when his marriage is announced, Nikhat and Zafar stop being secret lovers and Prem’s finds out. What happens next is the subject of the second half of the movie.

The start is really nice, keeps you engrossed, as the ornate Urdu dialogues of the films being shot of that era are mingled with the crude Punjabi jokes of one of the characters, a producer named Khosla (well acted by Saurabh Shukla). However, the movie soon begins to lose steam when we stop understanding the motivations behind the actions of the lead actors – the movie then just moves from one situation to another without us being able to fathom the internal demons which are driving Nikhat and Zafar to do what they do. So the second half really drags, the movie seems like it will never end.


There are some very interesting moments through the film – some interesting threads of thought which aren’t really probed fully – one such was the ‘main itna haramzada kyun hoon ?’ (why am I such a bastard ?) train of thought by Prem Kumar, in one of his rare honest moments. Another is ‘umeed hai yeh karke tumne kuch haasil kiya?’ (I assume by doing this you’ve achieved something ?) by Nikhat to Zafar, when his love for her begins to waver. However, the movie doesn’t really go deep, but just satisfies itself with a rose-tinted sepia look at the industry of that era.


The movie though, is rescued by a very exuberant title track and some very good performances. I thought Soha was outstanding in the film, she combines the old-world, regal charm of her mother with the impishness and freshness of today’s youth. She acts very well in a very natural way, without seeming to try too hard. Vinay Pathak, in yet another character role as Shyamol, an assistant, still seems to bring a certain fresh enthusiasm to his role, as he does to all the myriad roles he performs. Sonia Jehan was great, she looked and behaved every inch the part of another actress of that era. And Rajat Kapoor, in his own understated way, brings the smooth-talking, dishonest, power hungry superstar Prem Kumar to life. Shiney – I thought he overacted but maybe it was the role which needed such a performance. I think there will be a split verdict on him.

I enjoyed it, in a very perverse kind of way, but I can assure you its not everyone’s cup of tea. I enjoyed being transported to that era, to witness the power plays, the casting couch, the sheer irresistible magnetism that the film world casts on all those who enter it. Like a moth to the light, all the people remain in this world even though they know it will ultimately consume them. As they say, some things never change...

Dus Kahaniyan

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 128 Minutes
Release Date : 7th Dec ‘07
Directors : Sanjay Gupta, Rohit Roy, Meghna Gulzar, Apoorva Lakhia, Hansel Mehta and Jasmeet Dodhi

There are 10 completely distinct, individual stories, by six different directors and different cast. The stories are slickly done, with great attention to detail, most having a twist in the tale and some nice touches but not all will appeal to the whole audience because of the themes they deal in. Also, most stories were predictable, with even the ‘twists’ obvious a mile away and in some you struggled to see the point.

After much debate, I’ve decided to list all stories with their theme / cast / director but only expand the ones I liked.
1. Matrimony : I thought this one was the nicest story, simple, slightly predictable, touching upon infidelity with the corporate husband the bored housewife theme, slick and well enacted by Mandira Bedi (I’d forgotten she could act) and Arbaaz Khan (I hope he gets some meatier roles in Bollywood, he’s v good when given a chance).
2. High on the Highway : Terrible, stars Jimmy Sheirgill, its about drugs, the rest is just a blurry haze….
3. Purnmashi : starring Manisha Lamba and Amrita Singh, its nice, once again about infidelity though this time in a rural setting.
4. Strangers in the Night : The one twist which was not really predictable. Again, slick, well done and very well acted by Neha Dhupia who describes an erotic encounter on a railway station.
5. Zahir : Starring Manoj Bajpai and a very fresh looking, tanned Dia Mirza, about two neighbours in a Mumbai flat, nicely done yet predictable
6. Lovedale : It was nice to see Anooradha Patel after years, even if it was for 2 seconds. Anupam Kher also has a bit part in this with the key roles going to Aftab Shivdasani and Neha Uberoi, describing how a chance encounter can change your life. Very predictable and I found it quite corny.
7. Sex on the Beach : Terrible, starring Dino Morea
8. Rice Plate : stars Shabana Azmi and Naseerudin Shah, I don’t quite know how to rate this one – there definitely is something to it, with Shabana playing a South Indian Hindu who is prejudiced against Muslims. Some nice little touches but it doesn’t really sparkle.
9. Gubbare : nice, sentimental stuff about a couple traveling by bus and having an argument, with the wife (well played by Anita Hansdani) changing her seat and having a conversation with an elderly gentleman (Nana Patekar), who describes his own fights with his wife.
10. Rise and Fall : Sanjay Dutt and Suneil Shetty, its slick, gritty but pointless action.

The opening credits are very nice, with an intriguing, kaleidoscopic effect and an Enigma inspired soundtrack. Title song is nice as well. However, this one is a flatliner, with no spikes in the ECG. I wish they had managed to connect the stories or even have them all around the same theme (imagine 10 different takes on infidelity). Unfortunately, nothing really makes you sit up and go ‘Wow’ in any of the stories.

MP3 Mera Pehla Pehla Pyaar

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 112 Minutes
Release Date : 8th June ‘07
Director : Robby Grewal ; Writer : Robby Grewal, Sameer Kohli, Arshad Sayed ; Music : Dhruv Ghanekar and Ashutosh Pathak
Starring : Ruslaan Mumtaz, Hazel, Kanwaljeet Singh

There is something about first love that makes most of us, grown-up men and women, a bit goofy. Its something soft, makes us slightly irrational and its something most of us have been through, that special once in our lives.

This is a story set in a school, where a young boy (Ruslaan) slowly but irretrievably falls in love with a girl (Hazel) in the same school. His friends do their best to dissuade him (including via a hilarious song) but to no avail. The boy and girl fight, make-up, fight again, then make-up again (you get the drift ?). After Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak, it’s the first movie which has managed to recreate the magic. I don’t think its as good as QSQT, but its nice.

The lead characters are good, well played. I think we will for sure see Ruslaan again. Kanwaljeet plays a nice cameo of the boy’s father we would all love to have. Ruslaan’s friends also play their parts well. The music is ok-ok, good in some parts but ordinary in others.

There is nothing here that you’ve not seen before, nothing you will see that will change your life forever. But I think where the movie succeeds is that just for those few minutes, you’re reminded again of what it was like to be young, in love, to be spontaneous, excited and nervous all at the same time. And that surely is worth the price of the DVD ?

Blue Umbrella

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 90 Minutes
Release Date : 10th Aug ‘07
Director, writer & music : Vishal Bhardwaj ;
Starring : Pankaj Kapoor, Shriya

Endearing – that’s the best one word description I can think of for this movie based on a Ruskin Bond novel of the same name. Its unfortunate that adults in India shy away from going anywhere near something which is classified as a children’s film. This is a simple movie, set in a very small, sleepy hamlet in Himachal Pradesh, it is not dramatic, meanders at a leisurely pace, nothing really happens but yet there is a story in there, showcasing the greed of humans, the innocence of children, the strict social customs of small village’s but above all the charming simplicity of its inhabitants. This is yet another marvelous, authentic character study by the director of Omkara.

A young girl, who is the ‘gang-leader’ of a rag tag bunch of kids, gets her hands on a beautiful blue umbrella from some tourists. Its one of the Japanese umbrella’s, vividly decorated, and as one of the village characters describes it, ‘it’s as if a piece of the sky itself has come down in the form of the umbrella’. As with all favourite toys, it becomes the girl’s constant companion and kind of like Mary’s lamb, it went everywhere the girl went. Pankaj Kapoor, plays the part of a small shopkeeper in the village, who sets his heart on the umbrella. As he describes it to a small boy, who is his man Friday, ‘there is a strange attraction I have for the umbrella, almost as if its from a previous life’. He tries to buy it from the girl, tries to bribe her with grand promises of a sweet everyday but to no effect. His boy offers to steal it for him but his offer is declined. He even goes to a vendor and tries to buy one, however it has to be brought all the way from Delhi and costs a princely sum. He can afford it but is undecided as to what to do next….

Both the lead charcters – the young girl and Pankaj Kapoor acted out of their skins, with faultless performances. As in all Vishal Bhardwaj movies, the supporting cast is also equally good and seem to be tailor-made for their parts.

I enjoyed watching it on a flight, the events unfolding at a relaxed pace and it got my undivided attention despite the distractions of business class travel, like food, drink, over-solicitous flight attendants etc. It was a refreshing change from all the overly hyped big budget releases of recent times and I wish it had received a wider audience.

Aaja Nachle

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 145 minutes
Release date : 30th Nov'07
Director : Anil Mehta ; Writer : Jaideep Sahni ; Music : Salim-Sulaiman
Actors : Madhuri Dixit, Konkona Sen Sharma, Kunal Kapoor, Raghubir Yadav, Vinay Pathak, Akshay Khanna and Ranvir Shorey

This movie needs two things for you to enjoy it : one is a healthy suspension of logic / reality and the other an ability to enjoy despite the sheer predictability of it all. If you can manage the two, you will be entertained...

The plot is simple enough : Madhuri is taught dancing in a small town in UP, Shamli. She leaves amidst a scandal to marry an American boyfriend and move to New York. She loses contact with parents etc who have to leave town due to the scandal. Many years later, out of the blue, she gets a phone call that her guru, who taught her dancing in an arena called Ajanta in Shamli, is dying and wants to see her. She immediately, along with daughter in tow, comes over but is too late. However, he does leave her a recorded message : basically the govt is taking over the land and selling Ajanta to a mall developer, she alone can now save Ajanta. When she meets the local foreign educated MP (delightful cameo by Akshay), she is made a deal - if she can put up a performance with local Shamli artistes and get a crowd for the show before the demolition date, Ajanta will survive. The rest of the movie deals with her 'struggle' / the selection of the cast for her dance show / the trials and tribulations etc.

What lifts the movie are some great performances and some great dialogue. Jaideep Sahni (the same guy who did Khosla ka Ghosla) hits several home-runs once more with very authentic yet slightly over the top conversations. The 'Amavasya ki raat pe maggi noodles' (Maggi noodles on top of a full moon night), 'Can you write this in 3 copies on Rs 20 stamp paper' and 'yaar, tu jalebi hai' (you're a jalebi, an indian sweet), will linger long in memory. Kunal and Konkona were good without really shining through, Jugal Hansraj was decent though unrecognizable from the Masoom boy, but the people who really stood out were Akshay, Vinay Pathak and Akhilendra Mishra in their respective cameos as the MP, the govt officer and the local chaudhri. Also, special prize for Dalai for being Madhuri's truly endearing daughter.

You have to ignore minor practical thoughts like how can she (an aerobics teacher in NY) decide to happily stay back for 2 months (what happens to her job back home / she doesnt seem rich enough to be able to just chuck it all), how does a govt officer attend rehersals in the middle of the day while keeping his job going, how does the final show itself have lavish multiple sets that would put Broadway to shame. And how come none of the real irritants to doing things in India - the govt, the excise, the cops, the bureaucrats from the MCD etc never bother her ? Small things, but they can be explained and it irritates me that they aren't.

And what of Madhuri ? She clearly still has the spark, is good-looking, can still light a thousand screens with her smile and can out-thumka any current Bollywood actress. However, she cannot hide her age, looks old and clearly uncomfortable in the flashback sequence where she played a student. Also thankfully, despite my fears, this movie was not all about music / dancing and Madhuri but has several nice touches of modern day UP - albiet one viewed through rose-tinted glasses - real but not real enough to show the grime of everyday life. Special mention of the song 'Show me your Jalwa' which lifted everyone through its sheer exuberance.

I enjoyed it despite its predictabilty, despite the songs (they get better in the second half as then they're part of the story progression), despite the irritants detailed above. I guess I'm still a sucker for happy endings !

Goal

Rating : 4/10
Running Time : 145 Minutes
Release Date : 23rd Nov ‘07
Director : Vivek Agnihotri ; Writer : Rohit Malhotra ; Music : Pritam
Starring : John Abraham, Arshad Warsi, Boman Irani, Bipasha Basu

Let me begin with the obvious. Goal is not Chak De, it has a different theme (racism in Goal vs redemption in Chak De) and tries to be more emotional, though both did definitely choose a sport (football and hockey respectively) as their central thread.

Goal is about English football – about a club named Southall United. Southall, in case you didn’t know it, is a real-life small area in London where the joke goes that ‘Englishmen need a visa to enter Southall’. Its dominated by Sikhs and other Asians and is the closest place to India you’re likely to find in UK. The football club though, is near the bottom of the league, also near bankruptcy and under pressure from the city council to vacate the ground, needing a miracle to stay alive. Its captain, Arshad Warsi, decides to get a coach and the only one he can think of is an ex-Southall football player Tony Singh, who has now fallen on bad days. However, after not much persuasion, he begins coaching the motley crew which form the team and then brings in a star striker, a British born desi, John Abraham, who’s dreams of playing for a better, bigger, whiter football club are shattered by some racism. John has never got along with the typically ethnic Southall crowd and this spills over into the field as well. For additional spice add Bipasha Basu in a very sidey role as a physio to the team, and Dilip Tahil in an equally sidey role as the traitor, helping the English to ensure Southall doesn’t win and there you have in a nutshell the plot of the movie.

Goal is an ok movie, not even nice, just ok. I found a lot of things mediocre in it –the plot (full of holes, the team didn't look close to a football team and that really stretched credibility, some inexplicable relationships including John and his father), the dialogues (very unnatural / heavy, incidentally by Anurag Kashyap, director of Black Friday and No Smoking), the football action (quite clumsy / leaden, especially the last match, choreographed by an ex-English League footballer Andrew Owasu Ansah), the songs (forced in terms of situations and the quality), the humour (none of the jokes really made you laugh, very few even made you chuckle) and even the characters (too many stereotypes, including the large hearted Sardar, the evil English, the captain with the heart of gold etc - no real depth to any of them).

I appreciated the racism angle - I've faced some as well during my years abroad - and its good to make it clear to the Indian public that its not all rosy abroad. However, seriously, how worked up can you get about Southall United winning or losing ? Despite all the rah rah about how its not just about the club but about where we are from accompanied by abundant visuals of the tricolour, the Bangladeshi flag etc, its far less fun vs watching / cheering for the Indian team and none of the characters are built up sufficiently to make you really care.

I think every movie with even a touch of sport in its theme is going to now suffer in comparisons with Chak De. Even the normally unbiased Wikipedia couldn’t resist a line saying ‘Goal is the second sport based movie to be released in 2007 after Chak De’. The sheer adrenalin of the football is actually what saves the movie from being a disaster, along with some decent performances by some of the cast and a catchy title song.

I can compare Goal to two movies. One is 'Bend it Like Beckham' - which is also about sports and Southall (to a great degree) and Goal pales in comparison, especially in terms of freshness and sheer exuberance. The second, another movie which deals with the twin topics of racism and sport, – is Remember the Titans, starring Denzel Washington amongst others…watch that one if you really want to see how such topics should be dealt with ! Agar aapne us picture mein Titans ke liye naa cheer kara, to mera naam badal dena ! I wish Vivek Agnihotri (director) and Rohit Malhotra (writer) had gone to the trouble of painting some of the characters / the debates / the choices and even the sport strategies as vividly in Goal as this one. Then I would've cheered with a lot more emotion for Southall United !

Saawariya

Rating : 2/10
Running Time : 142 Minutes
Release Date : 9th Nov ‘07
Director : Sanjay Leela Bhansali ; Writer : Prakash Kapadia ; Music : Monty
Starring : Ranbir Kapoor, Sonam Kapoor, Rani Mukherjee, Salman Khan (guest appearance)

I’m going to have to restrain myself from getting personal, but what was Sanjay Leela Bhansali (the director) trying ? All his fancy sets (including a Moulin Rouge inspired Champs-Elysees, a Peter Pan inspired London /Big Ben, and Venice complete with canals, gondola’s and Henry’s café), all the fancy details where the walls are painted with flowers and Godly images instead of grafitti, all the extremely fancy costumes which vary from the silly (the red suede Red Riding Hood look) to the downright ridiculous (the French mime dress), all the fancy foreign fancy hotel names (Windermere café and Clifton hotel), all the Raj Kapoor references (RK café, the use of ‘ji’, some other hints), all the blue / indigo / turquoise (whatever the colour in the poster above is called) thematic styling, all the fancy cursive, spidery writing of Saawariya….All of the above doesn’t hide the fact that there is no plot, no story, absolutely no substance to the movie.

I would’ve loved to be in the script reading session of this one. “We will base the story in no era, no place, a kind of realm of dreams. Then the lead character will go from set A to lavish set B and sing a song. Then he will dance to even more lavish set C and sing another song. Then he will cavort to obscenely expensive set D, where he will be joined by 2 more artistes and they will all break into spontaneous song. And when, out of nowhere, his lady love materializes, they will gush forth at least 3-4 songs capturing whatever forced emotion they are feeling at that moment (happiness, sorrow etc)”. I really would be hard pressed to come up with something more lucid than that.

Ranbir Raj (Ranbir Kapoor) swiftly befriends Gulabji (Rani Mukherjee), a prostitute with a heart of gold. She then passes him on to Lillian (Zohra Sehgal, who speaks in a British accent tinged with a pure pind Punjabi accent)and Ranbir proceeds to use even more corny, mushy lines to befriend her and become her tenant. He sights Sakina (Sonam Kapoor) one night and proceeds to attempt to befriend her as well, succeeds, and then tries to make her fall in love with him. Alas, she loves another one, Iman (a scary, over-dosed-on-kajal-eyed Salman). What happens next ? Go through 11 songs lasting 50 minutes (Source : Wikipedia) and thou shalst knoweth the answer ! Suffice to say none of the characters are built to any depth and hence we don’t feel anything at all for any of them !

Ranbir and Sonam, the newcomers, both have good points and bad points respectively. Ranbir shouldn’t try to dance or try and act ‘crazy’, he’s good when baring his tush or smiling cutely or just being cute. Sonam also has good looks on her side, dancing ability is ok -ok and emoting (crying / displaying other serious emotions) are best avoided altogether. However, given their star parentage, I think we will see a lot more of them – and maybe with a better movie their talents could’ve been made better use of. I would also really love to know what the stars really truly thought of the movie – I cant believe they didn’t spot its numerous flaws ?

We, most of the audience, walked out of the movie as if in a trance. The overall mood of the movie is depressive anyways, because of the somber lighting (its all night shots – I think there was maybe half a shot of partial daylight as Sonam dusts a carpet) and the excessive use of blue/indigo throughout the whole film. You walk out asking existential questions like ‘What was this ? What happened ? Why did I see this ? What was the hype about ?’.

And the sad thing is Sanjay Leela Bhansali does not get it. BTW, he is not only the director but also the producer, editor, the co-music director, is co-credited on the screenplay (apparently inspired by White Nights by Fyodor Dostoevsky) and also, just to while away his free time, designed the costumes for Ranbir Kapoor. I saw him on TV yesterday night, calling himself a poet, calling the film a work of art. I’m sure when the audience drops by 90% in week 2 he will call us illiterates or some other such terms. I remember a similar reaction when one of his earlier films Khamoshi (a terrible, terrible film) had flopped disastrously, he had ranted forth on how the audience doesn’t have the sensibility to appreciate true art and his sensitive love story. I think its time for him to wake up and smell the coffee ! With apologies to Shakespeare, the fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars (and in our audiences) but in ourselves…

PS - Pls read the comments section as well - some interesting differences of opinion !

Om Shanti Om

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 162 Minutes
Release Date : 9th Nov ‘07
Director & Writer : Farah Khan ; Music : Vishal-Shekhar
Starring : Shahrukh Khan, Deepika Padukone, Shreyas Talpade, Kirron Kher, Arjun Rampal

Ismein action hai, drama hai, emotion hai, tragedy hai, stars hain (kuch zyaada hi hain, ek gaane mein hi 31 !), sex hai (well actually nahin hai, par kehne mein kya jaata hai...baaki sab kuch to double double hai !). In the not so old days, Manmohan Desai used to make movies like this - thorough entertainers where you could park your brains, go with the flow and come out smiling at the end of a well spent 3 hours. It was fun, it was enjoyable, it was predictable but no one minds as the right people win, good triumphs over evil and everyone lives happily ever after.

In case you're one of the few Indians on the planet who've managed to escape the marketing blitz behind OSO, then i can safely let you know that the movie for the first half is set in the 70's - primarily about the unlikely aspirations of a junior film artiste (Shahrukh) which include romantic feelings for a famous film star (Deepika Padukone). The second half, inspired hugely by Karz, follows the theme of reincarnation and revenge, and gets a little serious...

The first half entertains like only Farah Khan can - full of exaggerated emotion, spoofs of the 70's stars, their clothes, their mannerisms (Rajesh Khanna & Manoj Kumar get special attention). Its great and it keeps you in splits - there's one romantic song between Deepika and SRK where they take off on everybody including Jeetendra & Leena Chandravarkar in 'Dhal gaya din...thak...ho gayi shyaam...thak...'. Kirron Kher excels as SRK's mother and ex-film junior film artiste herself, over emoting at every opportunity. Shreyas Talpade is outstanding as SRK's friend, beavering quietly away in the background.

The second half is quieter, calmer but only to a degree. There is the over the top awards function where there are spoofs on current actors including Abhishek and Akshay, amazingly performed by the stars themselves and there is the famous 31 star song + the almost as famous SRK bare chested complete with new 6 pack song !

Its tough to imagine anyone other than Shahrukh in the lead role - I can't think of anyone else who could overact so credibly...Deepika looks much better on screen than in her stills - she carries of both indian dresses and western dresses quite well and matches SRK dimple for dimple.

I really have to take my hat off to Farah for this one - its very much in the mould of Main Hoon Na, her previous film (BTW, if you didnt like it, you're well advised to stay away from this one as well). Its way over the top, mindless in parts but still hugely entertaining from start to finish. I like someone who can make fun of her industry, its foibles, its stars and even herself - just for that alone its worth a watch !

Loins of Punjab Presents

Ha ha ha ha haha ha ha haaaaahaaaa……the sound of unadulterated laughter…. the most common sound heard during this movie, apart from the soundtrack, of course. Brilliant, simply brilliant and a must watch – definitely one of the best movies of the year.

Its about a ‘desi idol’ contest set in New Jersey, where as varied a group of participants as you’re likely to see, join in to win the $25,000 prize. This includes, in no order of priority

• Preeti Patel - young girl, great voice, with a personal cheerleading squad of 10 or so including papa patel, mummy patel, mama patel etc. This group provides some of the most entertaining moments of the film, showcasing all the foibles we associate with the Patel’s of this world (clannishness, their vegetarianism, extreme desire for value for money which is also known as stinginess and finally also their penchance for home cooked food).


• The Turbanatorius B.D.G.– an aggressive, bald yet turbaned bhangra rap singer who’s language / liberal use of the F word would put most rappers to shame


• Joshua Cohen – the only white contestant who keeps getting mistaken for a hotel employee, an indophile, who has an Indian girlfriend and despite his accented hindi, wins hearts over.


• Sania Rehman – she doesn’t know Hindi but that doesn’t stop her from singing seductive filmi songs, complete with the ‘thumka’.


• Vikram Tejwani– who’s banking job is about to be outsourced to India, who relies heavily on statistics / preplanning to guide his life.


• Rita Kapoor – the queen bee, a big time socialite who’s in this only to better Bubble’s and she wont let anything get in her way from winning.
  

All the characters are beautifully sketched, including the judges and other hotel employees. As you can imagine, this whole group is crazy enough individually, but put them together and they’re dynamite. Some of the more memorable moments include the ‘mere paas maa hai’ debate between Joshua and Rita, the interaction between the hotel and the Patels on the ‘no food from outside’ policy, Sania and Vikram’s confusion over ‘mujhe saaf kardo’ and the price negotiation between the lap dancer and one of the Patel’s.

The dialogue is outstanding, with some very sharp incisive insights into reality show contestants / NRI’s. Everyone fits into their roles magnificiently including Shabana Azmi (the only truly known face) as Rita.

Kudo’s to Manish Acharya (debut director, co-writer and also starring as Vikram) for giving us this 90 minute laughathon which I wish could have lasted longer.