In Bruges

Rating : 7/10
Release Date : June ‘08
Time : 107 minutes
Director & Writer : Martin McDonagh
Starring : Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Clemence Peosy

Colin: After I killed him, I dropped the gun in the Thames, washed the residue off me hands in the bathroom of a Burger King, and walked home to await instructions. Shortly thereafter the instructions came through - "Get the fuck out of London, you dumb fucks. Get to Bruges." I didn't even know where Bruges fucking was.
[pause]
Colin: It's in Belgium
Hilariously funny first half, and I mean almost hysterically funny, switches gears in the second, almost becoming a different film. Am not sure the ending is what I would’ve written, but my abiding memory was of the very, very funny characters and the very, very funny first half.

Two assassins are sent to Bruges (its in Belgium as Colin Farrell also discovers!) to lie low after a kind of botched assignment. Colin, an Irishman, comes in thinking its going to a shithole and he sees nothing that convinces him otherwise. The medieval beauty of the place, passes him by, while it enchants his partner, Brendan, who is more inclined towards history and culture.



They find out they have to share a room, they find they have nothing in common, they realise they may have to wait longer than they anticipated and this agitates Colin, who would rather be back in the UK. Brendan, the elder partner, is calmer about it, more mature and willing to go with their boss, Harry's instructions, which were to wait for his call. The call, finally comes, but they’re out of the hotel, resulting in them receiving an F-word filled message from Harry via the hotel receptionist (or co-owner as she not so subtly points out). When he does get through, the fun begins. Am not saying anything more for fear of taking away the surprise.


Suffice to say, we witness English / Irish humour at its best, we meet crazy characters including a midget, who is the hero of a film being shot in Bruges, a very pretty producer whom Colin is instantly besotted with, her ex-boyfriend who doesn’t take too kindly to Colin’s advances, some ‘elephantine’ American tourists who don’t take kindly to jokes about their size and a tower attendant who is rude in a very ‘dutch’ kind of way and petty down to the last ten cents (again in a very Flemish kind of way).

The second half went in a different direction, becoming much more serious. It was still interesting, keeps you hooked but the abiding memory, even when its all over is of Colin swearing at everything around him in his fake Irish brogue. And that was just one of the things that was hilariously funny….

Brendan: We shall strike a balance between culture and fun.
Colin : Somehow I believe, Ken, that the balance shall tip in the favor of culture, like a big fat fucking retarded fucking black girl on a see-saw opposite... a dwarf.

Colin : [beating a tourist that he believes to be American] That's for John Lennon, you Yankee fuckin' cunt!

Clemence: There's never been a classic movie made in Bruges until now.
Colin : Of course there hasn't. It's a shithole.
Clemence: Bruges is my home town, Ray.
Colin: Well, it's still a shithole.
Clemence: It's not a shithole!
Colin: What? Even midgets have to take drugs to stick it.
Clemence: Okay. So, you've insulted my home town. You were doing really well, Raymond. Why don't you tell me some Belgium jokes while you're at it?
Colin: Don't know any Belgium jokes, and if I did I think I'd have the good sense not to... hang on. Is Belgium with all those child abuse murders lately? I do know a Belgium joke. What's Belgium famous for? Chocolates and child abuse, and they only invented the chocolates to get to the kids.
[Ray sees Chloe's shocked expression]
Colin: What?
Clemence: One of the girls they murdered was a friend of mine.

I think it was brilliant – and all the above is just a sample…there's more, plenty more. Enjoy !