Golmaal Returns

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 140 Minutes
Release Date : 31st Oct 2008
Director : Rohit Shetty; Writer : Rumi Jaffrey; Music : Asheish Pandit, Pritam, Vishal Dadlani, Shekhar Ravjiani
Starring : Ajay Devgan, Arshad Warsi, Kareena Kapoor, Tusshar Kapoor, Shreyas Talpade, Celina Jetley, Amrita Arora

The rating is so high just because they made me laugh – a lot ! Its asinine for most parts, there are a lot of PJ’s thrown in, the plot has more holes than my socks and it drags a bit towards the end. Yet it manages to entertain, crack enough good ones, poke enough fun at the producers, Saawariya or Balaji films to keep us in a state of mild amusement throughout with several sharp upwards spikes in the middle.

Thankfully, they chose to abandon the earlier storyline and most of the characters – keeping just a few (I thought the first Golmaal was terrible) so you can peacefully watch it without being at a loss. Ajay Devgan is married to Kareena, named Ekta in the film just to allow some merciless leg pulling of Ekta Kapoor and her inane serials. They live with their siblings, Kareena’s brother Tusshar (who’s mute) and Ajay’s sister, Amrita Arora. Kareena always suspects Ajay of having affairs and so one night when he doesn’t return as he was rescuing damsel in distress, he prefers to lie rather than risk the truth. That lie leads to a lot of complications, some of which involve, Arshad Warsi as the cop who doesn’t like Ajay but is in love with his sister, the snake-tattooed guy, a Rani Mukherjee from Saawariya clone, a dead body, men in drag etc etc.


Some of the best moments come when they’re ripping off something – there’s a hilarious sequence when they’re going hell for leather behind the Kingfisher tune (ooh lala le oleo), another where Ajay spouts dialogue mentioning every one of his films, again when Kareena uses all the Hindi serial names or when they use music from ‘Tashan’ and towards the end when they start beating Tusshar just because he’s from Balaji Productions (in real life).

Ajay was very good in this one, Arshad seems to have re-discovered his spontaneity (had been a bit flat in some of his earlier ones), Tusshar was good though I think they over did the mute jokes while Shreyas was wasted in his role – it was too slapstick for his talents. Amongst the women Kareena looked hot (though do you also feel that she's lost too much weight ?), while Celina, thankfully in this one, keeps her clothes on.

I’ll leave you with a couple of PJ’s that are used – they’re both questions really. What would Lara Dutta be called if she married Brian Lara ? Whats the difference between a secretary and a personal secretary ? If the answers (the first one is obvious) can make you smile, then you have a hope of enjoying the film. Else save yourself the effort or the expense.

Heroes

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 139 Minutes
Release Date : 24th Oct 2008
Director & Writer : Samir Karnik; Music : Sajid & Wajid Ali
Starring : Sohail Khan, Vatsal Sheth, Salman Khan, Sunny Deol, Bobby Deol, Mithun Chakraborty, Preity Zinta, Dino Morea, Dwij Yadav

I walked in expecting disaster but it wasn’t at all that bad. It’s a bit too rah-rah, India-is-my-motherland-and-I-will-defend-it-to-my-dying-breath kind of stuff, but they’ve chosen to give a nice angle to it. Two good for nothing students (Sohail Khan and Vatsal Sheth) at the film institute, who’ve not attended any classes, are told to submit a film or they wont be passed. They choose the topic of ‘why you should not join the Indian army’ and in this connection meet a senior war journalist, who simply gives them three letters, each given to him by a person who died in the war, and asks them to deliver the letters to the respective families. Sohail and Vatsal are off, on their mobike, driving through Punjab, Himachal and Leh to deliver the letters are learn more about why soldiers are willing to die for their country.

Like, I said, it’s a bit over the top, I found the editing a bit jerky, the songs mostly terrible and the dialogue a bit forced. The opening is actually quite badly copied from ‘Friends’ and the book ‘Five-point-someone’ and the opening song is terrible with city slickers bursting inexplicably into Rajasthani folk song. Also, the Punjabi village shown is too stereotypical, with literally every cliché thrown in (the ‘oye Baljeetya’s’, the paratha’s with lots of butter etc) and I’ve never understood why the characters don’t speak proper Punjabi – its like some Punju words thrown in to give the local flavour but mixed with enough Hindi to make sure the non-Punjabi audience can follow it. Even my Punjabi is better than whats mostly shown and that says a lot

But its interesting, they paint decent enough characters through the film to keep you sufficiently gripped and the cinematography is very nice. Sohail was very good, I really like him, he has a nice smile and always manages to lend credibility to whichever role he does. Nice cameo’s by Prateeksha Lonker as Dino’s mom, Preity Zinta, who carries off her role with quiet dignity, and Dwij Yadav who manages to be cute without being syrupy. Wont reveal the other names & their roles as it may take something away from your viewing experience. Couple of nice touches in terms of Sohail’s colourful boxers, the border road signs (‘please be gentle on my curves’) and the way over the top wheel chair fighting sequence, befitting the son of Dharmendra, with almost Hulk-like special effects.


However, I felt, unlike Rang De Basanti for example, this movie was trying too hard to make us feel patriotic, to make us weep, to play on our emotions. Its also too one-sided a story, painting a very rosy picture – the contrast with Dhoop, for example, is amazing with the family of a deceased war hero struggling to get whats rightfully theirs. And it may even be the wrong timing for this film – there is a recession upon us and probably we’re at our least feel-good moment right now.

Roadside Romeo

Rating : 6/10
Running Time : 93 Minutes
Release Date : 24th Oct 2008
Director & Writer : Jugal Hansraj; Music : Salim - Sulaiman
Starring (Voices) : Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Javed Jaaferi
Its stereotypical, predictable and for someone born and brought up on wonderful world of Disney & Pixar, its very ordinary. But I’ll give some bonus brownie points just for trying and for the lovely end-credits (the bloopers section for me was the best section of the film).

Romeo is a happy-go-lucky street dog who falls in love with Laila, who’s beautifully turned out, well-manicured and almost poodle-like in her airs. However, Charlie Anna, the local don, is also a big fan and willing to kill anyone who so much as looks at her…

I think the assumption the makers of the film made was that just seeing something so well animated, with dogs mouthing funny accents etc will be a novelty for the audience. And perhaps that’s why they didn’t bother making the story more interesting or the dialogue funnier – if this same dialogue had been in a ‘human’ film, we would’ve yawned and that’s why, after the novelty wears out, our attention begins to falter. A further negative are the numerous songs, including several item numbers, which don’t really add to the film.

On the plus side, you have the best animation India has ever seen, some funny sequences involving the accents of popular filmstars or scenes from other Yashraj films (Dhoom2, Dilwale Dulhania etc) and even (in the initial stages) the music from popular sound tracks. They’ve added some nice touches as well – the bicycle chain around Anna’s neck, the ‘tussi na jao’ bit, And the blooper section is really funny.

Kids will love it. And the guilt of not taking the kids to this one will easily outweigh the negatives of the film, so might as well go with low expectations and you might even enjoy this one.

Last Samurai

Rating : 9/10
Running Time : 154 Minutes
Release Date : December 2003
Director & co-writer : Edward Zwick; Writer : John Logan; Music : Hans Zimmer
Starring : Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Koyuki, Masato Harada, Bill Connolly

I’d forgotten what epics were like – and what a lovely way to remember. This one is a true epic ! It beautifully depicts the clash between the old values and the modernists, something which can be true of India even today, without really taking sides. It also shows how, unfortunately, humans have chosen to direct their ingenuity to make weapons which can kill more people, faster ! And it does all this by building characters we truly start to care for – people we understand and feel their pain or their confusion.



The Last Samurai traces the journey of disenchanted, alcohol swilling Nathan Algren, who once was forced by his superiors to fire at a village of Indian women and children and since then has always lived with the nightmares of that day. One of those superiors gets him a job training the Japanese Emperor’s army (mostly peasants) as they struggle to fight a Samurai group, led by Katsumoto, which still wants to live by the Samurai code & the old ways while the young emperor is fascinated by all things western. During the first battle, a combination of luck and quick thinking results in Algren being taken prisoner by the Samurai vs being killed. And so begins a new journey as both Katsumoto and Aigren learn about each other, their values, their methods etc. And it leads to a very impressive ending as we mourn the needless loss of life, the end of an era.



The movie scores on all fronts – whether its action sequences, emotional scenes or even just beautiful shots which showcase the beauty of the Orient. The acting is nothing short of sensational. Tom Cruise has this streak in him of coming up with excellent performances while seeming to remain deadpan for most of the film (Rainman and Collateral come to mind). Ken Watanabe looks & acts the part of the brave Samurai, appreciating the beauty of battles and of cherry blossoms in almost the same breath. The whole relationship between Tom Cruise and Koyuki’s kids is beautifully shown, very realistic, nothing over the top. And Koyuki, in a very difficult role, comes through unscathed.


This is a tour-de-force. The movie casts a spell on you, transports you to another time, makes you weep and smile along with the protagonists. Again, I’ve had it in my collection for not less than 3 years but finally saw it only this week. All I can say is that I regret the delay deeply, as something so beautiful could've been a part of me for longer.

Raincoat

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 120 Minutes
Release Date : December 2004
Director & Writer : Rituparno Ghosh; Music : Debajyoti Misra
Starring : Ajay Devgan, Aishwarya Rai, Annu Kapoor, Mouli Ganguly

It’s a slightly sombre film, though filled with good performances, some enchanting background music (thematic is sung by Shubha Mudgal, some poetry by Gulzar) and a nice, cute ending. Its more a play than a movie actually, inspired by a O’Henry story (will be giving the story away if I tell you which one).

Ajay Devgan, down on his luck, out of a job, weepy, depressive, comes from his village to Kolkatta and is staying over at his college friend’s place. Together, they devise a plan wherein Ajay will go ask their other batchmates for small amounts of money (Rs 5000 or so) to make up the seed capital he needs to start his new business. The friends wife is also very supportive, touched by the state he is in, and gives him her mobile phone and also the raincoat mentioned in the title. Ajay also wants to meet his old flame, Aishwarya, now married for six years, a move not supported by the friend (since she had caused Ajay so much heartache) and he finally relents only on one condition – that Ajay borrow at least 15000 from her alone. Within 20 minutes of the film’s start, Ajay is ringing Aishwarya’s doorbell.

Almost the whole movie goes by in whispered half tones punctuated only by the slightly more vibrant flashbacks. Its somberness somehow gets to you, lowers your own enthusiasm. The friends wife, nicely played by Mouli Ganguly, and the cameo by Annu Kapoor, who plays a very irritating character quite well, are the only relief from the very halting dialogue between the lead characters (even though I found the whole conversation Annu had with Ajay quite implausible).

I’ve always failed to understand why they would take someone as gorgeous as Aishwarya and then completely deglamourize her - dress her up in dowdy clothes, make her look worn out / frumpy and even talk funny. I also think they made the story slower, and excessively depressive than it needed to be, else it would have appealed to a lot more people than it did right now. Nice but not very – if it weren’t for the music, I would probably have gone for a lower rating.

Parineeta

Rating : 8/10
Running Time : 130 Minutes
Release Date : June ‘2005
Director & Co-writer : Pradeep Sarkar; Writer : Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay (author, 1914 novella) ; Music : Shantanu Moitra
Starring : Saif Ali Khan, Sanjay Dutt, Vidya Balan, Raima Sen, Dia Mirza
This is a film that reminds us of the strange capacity we humans have to seek unhappiness. We may have everything, all the people we love around us, yet we find ways to make ourselves miserable. Parineeta (translation : The Married Woman, based on Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay’s classic novella) is a tragedy of sorts but not one that’s excessively gloomy or depressing.

It describes the relationship between Shekhar (Saif) and Lolita (Vidya Balan’s debut), inseparable friends & neighbours despite the class gap that yawns between them. Saif is a musically inclined rich kid in a household that is dominated ruthlessly by his businessman father. He loves the piano, keeps trying to compose new tunes and describes himself less as a businessman, more a musician. He finds, right from childhood, an able companion in arms in Lolita. She is the daughter of a middle class, out of work / almost retired father, is a natural at music (according to Shekhar) and is the life and soul of her household (competent, efficient and yet fun). She and Shekhar enjoy a great rapport, to the extent that he gives her the keys to his cupboard and she is free to take money (petty cash) whenever she needs it, without asking for permission.

There are two major events that occur in the film. First is a loan that Shekhar’s father gives to Lolita’s when he needed money and in return gets their house, which is worth much more than the loan amount, as collateral. Lolita’s father knows, especially since he is out of a job, that there is a slim chance of him returning the money and so it weighs heavily on him and his other family members. The other is the arrival of Girish (Sanjay Dutt), the brother of another neighbour, a businessman from London (owns steel mills), a quiet, soft-spoken yet full of life person, who falls head over heels for Lolita. Most importantly, his arrival also causes the equations between Shekhar’s and Lolita’s households to change. To what extent, you’ll have to watch to find out…

Parineeta is one of the movies where every actor fits their part perfectly – you cannot imagine any other actor in their roles. However, even more rarely, you also find it difficult to imagine that actor in any other role, so credible are all the performances. I remember feeling the same way, many years ago, when I saw Dustin Hoffman in Rainman – I ran out to get another Dustin movie as soon as it finished as I couldn’t imagine him as anything but an autistic savant. Sanjay’s portrayal of Girish is so nicely done (I rate this as one of his finest performances) that you cannot imagine him anymore as a gangster or ruffian. Vidya Balan is excellent as Lolita, fits the part of a Bengali beauty effortlessly and Saif gives the first hints of his true acting abilities with his role as Shekhar. Even Dia Mirza plays her part as rich, spoilt kid with nonchalance – the joke about the 6 cooks or 12 was brilliantly told.

Parineeta almost seems like a musical score, with a certain lyrical quality to it. It begins with a flourish, is sweet and innocent at first, has a beautiful mid-piece and then ends with a fitting crescendo. It makes for compulsive viewing, with a lovely recreation of Calcutta in the 60’s and 70’s. Enjoy.

Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 118 Minutes
Release Date : 19th September ‘2008
Director & Co-Writer : Sudhir Mishra; Writer : Ruchi Narain ; Music : Shantanu Moitra
Starring : Kay Kay Menon, Shiney Ahuja, Chitrangda Singh, Yashpal Sharma, Saurabh Shukla, Anupam Shyam

It is impossible in this movie not to take sides. It begins in 1969 with two letters being read out, both to the same woman, Geeta (Chitrangda Singh), by two very different men. One is Siddharth (Kay Kay), born with a silver spoon in his mouth (as Vikram points out frequently), the son of a retired judge and a fire-brand college activist and convert to the Naxalite movement. His dream is to go to Bihar and live there. The other is Vikram, very middle class, son of a Gandhivadi father, well connected, the type who knows everyone yet is true friends with no one. The type who, unlike Siddharth etc, don’t want to break out but just want to break in !

And the recipient of the letters, Geeta, is not sure of where she is – a bit lost, very much ‘in love’ with Siddharth, somewhat in love with his ideals, enjoys the attention she gets from the clearly infatuated Vikram but then finds an M.A. in London also beckoning. She clearly needs to sort herself out.


Fast forward four years and we find Siddharth living in Bihar, haunted, skinny, finding real change very hard to implement and on the run from the police, who are a law unto themselves. Vikram is also where he wanted to be, in Delhi, oiling the corridors of power and as he puts it ‘rapidly acquiring power and wealth’. He is a fixer, the man who knows how to get things done, the man whom local politicians are keeping an eye out for, the man who doesn’t really have any beliefs apart from the pursuit of his self-centered goals. And Geeta. She is still a little lost, married, to an IAS officer. Newly returned to India, she meets Vikram by chance at a typical Delhi party and realizes a few truths about herself. And then the movie moves forward. The characters of Vikram and Siddharth are well-drawn and are easy to understand, each being very clear in terms of their goals / ideals etc. Geeta’s character is much tougher to understand. Each time you see her, you sense some indecision. But ultimately, in some ways, she turns out to be the strongest of them all.


The great things about this film are the great performances, the beautiful & enchanting Chitrangda Singh (real life wife of ace Indian golfer Jyoti Randhawa), beautiful soundtrack, lovely dialogue (example : A Maharaja is describing his palace to Vikram and comes to the Harem where the king used to have 700 wives. Vikram asks the obvious question ‘what did the wives do when the king was not around ?’ and gets the deadpan answer ‘they made do with the palace staff except that if any of the staff were caught, their balls were chopped off’. Vikram’s next question is a classic ‘what did they do with the balls ?’). And some very realistic portrayal of the tumultuous early 70’s in which most of the movie is set. Including people being beaten up by the cops in Bihar (excellent cameo by Anupam Shyam as Jhanda Singh, S.H.O. in Bihar) for the murder of an inspector but finding out that the inspector is being brought back completely drunk, on a bullock cart. Or his eye movements when he speaks to Geeta. Or the Delhi upper middle class life & social do’s, where people pontificate on the ill’s of the country over refined English tea and classical music recitals.


The movie is not pretty but its powerful and thought provoking. You do wonder about whats going to happen to the India that we’re not really familiar with, the one that resides in small villages in far off states, where things haven’t really changed that much over the last fifty years. Where the caste system still prevails (hilarious situation shown regarding the thakur and a low caste doctor), where the police or other officials are judge, jury and executioner. And where Independence promised much but has turned out to be a mere mirage. You do wonder whether the people have really had enough. Enough of the principle-bereft politicians, who are willing to sell their soul for a fast buck and change sides even for loose change. Enough of bureaucrats assuming all of the power but none of the responsibility. And enough of all excuses and the stunted growth the country is enjoying. Maybe its time for another revolution. Or maybe it isn’t. Watch it and make up your mind.

13 Tzameti

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 86 Minutes
Release Date : January ‘2006
Director & Writer : Gela Babluani;
Starring : George Babluani, Pascal Bongard, Serge Chambon, Olga Legrand, Aurelien Recoing

I’ve rarely seen a film where you didn’t know what the hell it was about till halfway through but still enjoyed it. It even managed to keep my wife from sleeping and many years of marriage can testify that its not a task easily accomplished. Also, when you do find out what is happening it does take your breath away, a bit.


The Georgian director weaves together a really nice black and white film where the lead character, Sebastien (his real life brother), a poor house handyman, upon not getting his full payment takes an envelope meant for the now dead owner of the house. The envelope contains nothing sinister, just train tickets and a hotel address and at first the cloak and dagger routine surprises him. And then when he finds out what its about, he tries to escape but by then its too late.

The brothers seem destined for bigger things in life. Gela directs very well and though the end is kind of predictable, keeps us completely hooked with some deft touches and skilful turns. And George perfects the innocent man, who doesn’t quite know whats happening, merely follows an impulse which lands him in all sorts of trouble. And Aurelien Recoing is excellent as the aggressive, winking #6. Tzameti, by the way, is Georgian for thirteen.


I can imagine what they’ve shown still happening today, in some corner of the developed or developing world. Testosterone, the gambling instinct and a vicarious competitive nature can combine to make us do funny things. Men, after all, will always be men.

Thanks to UTV World Movies for sending me the DVD

Koma

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 88 Minutes
Release Date : April ‘2004
Director : Chi-Leung Law; Writer : Susan Chan
Starring : Kar Yan Lam, Angelica Lee, Andy Hui Chi-on, Raymond Wong

An extremely unusual film, quite macabre and gruesome at times but keeps you hooked – the type where you keep watching, despite being repulsed a bit, wondering whats happening next. A bit in the 'Old Boy' (Hindi remake 'Zinda') genre.

It involves a girl, her boyfriend, a suspected kidney thief and some other characters. It follows the relationship of the three central characters and shows them wildly fluctuate from extreme enmity and intimidation to extreme ‘yeh dosti hum nahin todenge’ type friendship. Several twists follow, not all plausible. And then it ends in a psychotic blaze.

I’m not such a keen fan of ‘psycho’ type films – never been able to really understand the characters or warm towards them. The film is interesting only to a degree and the predictable ending ensures that this is not really one for the DVD collection.

Thanks to UTV World Movies for sending me the DVD

La Spagnola

Rating : 4/10
Running Time : 87 Minutes
Release Date : September ‘2001
Director : Steve Jacobs; Writer : Anna Maria Monticelli
Starring : Lola Marceli, Alice Ansara, Lourdes Bartolome, Simon Palomores

I still don’t know what it was about, the broader message emanating from this slice of life about two Spanish immigrants in Australia, Lola & Lucia, mother & daughter and how their relationship goes. Lola is the screeching, nagging type, in other words, your typical wife, except that she is downright stunning and has men doing double-takes throughout the film. Lucia is the quiet one, happy in the company of the several farm animals they have. Lola thinks she is just like her father but we have to take her word for that as we don’t see much of him – he walks out on Lola in the opening frame for an Australian woman. From the little we see of him, it seems Lola’s assessment of him as a weak, selfish coward, who always thought only of himself, seems true.

Lucia hates Lola for letting her father go. Lola also doesn’t like Lucia too much and their relationship is not pretty to watch. And neither is the movie – too much screaming, too much shouting, much ado about nothing. No blinding insights into the human psyche or the life of early emigrants into Australia or even Spanish people / women. There are a few funny scenes, the way the Australian woman kept reappearing was funny, as was the raffle or Lucia’s translations and definitely the whole sequence on Manola (Lola’s sister), who in contrast to her sister is a chirpy, happy soul. But they were too far and few in between a film that focused more on the unhappiness of life and the fact that you’ve no idea on whats going to hit you next. I really didn’t get the point of this one.

Thanks to UTV World Movies for sending me the DVD

Kidnap

Rating : See the last para below
Running Time : 149 Minutes
Release Date : 2nd October ‘2008
Director : Sanjay Gadhvi; Writer : Shibani Bathija; Music : Pritam Chakraborty
Starring : Minissha Lamba, Sanjay Dutt, Imran Khan, Vidya Malvade

I’m going to just list the positives and the negatives – with each item being given a +/- points tally which will lead to a final rating. Am writing all points in random order, the positives and negatives mixed up and not in any order of weightage

 Opening credits : +3 points : beautifully crafted pencil sketches tell a complete wordless story by themselves and make sure that time is not wasted and we are hooked right from the first frame.
 Minissha Lamba : +1 point : looks truly Punjabi, especially figure wise and especially in a bikini. A relief to see a voluptuous bod unlike the size zero fad. And she acts decently too.

 Songs : -1 points : not that great, forced and a distraction (slows down the story, releases the tension build-up of the plot). One song (Mit jaye) is very good but only comes at the end. The film actually didn’t need songs, just background music would’ve been fine
 Sanjay Dutt : +1 point : He can act for sure, brings a little of his unique flair to the party
 Plot : -2 points : Interesting premise, of someone kidnapping a daughter of a rich man but its not for money. However, what happens later is a let down – the tasks given to Sanjay were a bit too implausible, all that stuff about him being the ‘richest man on the planet’ was unnecessary as it wasn’t used at all for the story (but should have, in my opinion). And the end was a bit contrived, unnecessarily sentimental.
 Casting : -1 points : for whoever had the brainwave of casting vidya malvade as the mom. Its not that she acts badly but look just too damn young to be a mom unless she was one of the balika badhu’s from Rajasthan
 Imran Khan : 0 points : he looks good but could’ve acted better. However, I’m glad he took up this role else he would’ve been stuck doing choco cute boy roles for the next 50 films. He will get better as an actor, the guy has potential, lots of it.
 Dialogues : -2 points : a bit forced, lacked humour / spark. Needed a better scriptwriter.
 Locations : +1 point : am giving it one point just because they didn’t blow up a packet shooting songs in 3 continents, fancy locations. It wasn’t necessary and they desisted, unlike most producers / directors of today.

So, I went in with my usual mid-point rating of 5 and found that different elements balanced themselves out to leave me a 5 as a final rating. Could’ve easily been so much better. I think the producer / director got excited by the overall concept and then didn’t pay so much attention to the little details that could’ve made it brilliant.

Drona

Rating : 2/10
Running Time : 144 Minutes (internationally, unconfirmed 173 minutes in India)
Release Date : 2nd October ‘2008
Director & Writer : Goldie Behl; Music : Dhruv Ghanekar
Starring : Abhishek Bachchan, Priyanka Chopra and Kay Kay Menon

A combination of a terrible film, sleep deprivation, my drivers holiday (Eid) and a couple of beers forced me to walk out of the film within 25 minutes. I had the same kind of foreboding within 5 minutes of the start as I had in Love Story 2050. The story, dialogue, acting, characters were all so terrible, poorly drawn out, stereotypical that I just couldn’t bear to watch this one fully

I walked out just as Kay Kay, who plays the villain, was introduced and hearing his hammy dialogue proved to be the straw that broke this camel’s back. Subsequently, my wife, brother, mother etc watched it fully and assured me I did the right thing. Even the two points are only for the special effects that I didn’t see (copied from a slew of Hollywood adventure films) and for Priyanka Chopra (who’s entrance also I sadly missed).

Apparently Goldie has already decided that he’s going to do a sequel. He may have trouble finding someone to bankroll it this time. Sorry for copping out, but I took instinctive evasive action just as a batsman instinctively dodges a bouncer to the head.

Welcome to Sajjanpur

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 133 Minutes
Release Date : 19th September ‘2008
Director & Writer : Shyam Benegal; Music : Shantanu Moitra
Starring : Shreyas Talpade, Ila Arun, Amrita Arora, Divya Dutta, Yashpal Sharma

Without Shreyas Talpade I would probably have gone a notch lower. But as all people who’ve seen him in Dor or Iqbal would testify, he brings so much credibility to his role, such delight on his face that you tend to go with the flow and forget minor niggles like the slowish pace of the film, the too stereotypical characters etc

He is the letter-writer of the village. Having good writing skills since an childhood, laden with the burden of his teachers forecast that one day he will become a famous writer, he now sits under a banyan tree, has a ratecard (Rs2 for a postcard, whether you make him write only on one side or not etc) and uses his writing skills to spice up the message, infuse emotion in the letter to make sure the point hits home when the receiver gets the missive. His skills are now famous and people come from nearby villages as well to get him to write

Since all people come to get him to write – in one case a man comes to even get him to type an SMS – we pretty much get to know all that’s happening in the village.
 The elections, where Yashpal Sharma, ex-Sarpanch and strongman / toughie of the village (again ? he’s more talented and should get more variety in his roles) is making his wife stand for the elections (I never understood why he couldn’t stand himself again ?) and faces opposition from an unlikely quarter, a eunuch named Munni Bai
 The attraction between a compounder and the Subedar’s widowed daughter in law, including a ‘ticklish’ examination
 The ‘missing’ husband, where an old classmate (from the IInd standard), Kamla (Amrita Rao), gets Mahadev to write letters to her husband, who left shortly after marriage to work as a labourer in Mumbai and now has been gone for four years. Again, I never understood why they didn’t know of each other despite living so near each other or why she didn’t start writing to him earlier and waited four years.
 The manglik daughter, where a frantic Ila Arun is trying to get her daughter, a sassy Divya Dutta in pigtails who rides a scooterette, get married but obviously needs advice on what rituals to be performed prior to the wedding to get rid of the ‘manglik’ status

We meet all of them and some other zany characters. However, I found the whole thing a bit ‘forced’ – its like how just getting a person to speak in a rustic dialect (the humra’s and the bitwa’s etc) doesn’t make a true villager, the whole rural village thing came across as something too sweet, too syrupy, almost as if we were watching through rose tinted glasses. And again, it’s a slice of life with nothing major happening – just a steady stream of day to day incidents as described above.

This one is at best a one time watch. It makes you chuckle a few times but rarely laugh.

Saas, Bahu Aur Sensex

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 144 Minutes
Release Date : 19th September ‘2008
Director & Writer : Shona Urvashi; Writer : Shashi Deshpande ; Music : Blaaze, Bipin, Randolph Correa
Starring : Farouque Shaikh, Kirron Kher, Lilette Dubey, Tanushree Dutta

You always know where you’re heading with one and they didn’t make the journey fun enough. The whole sensex – women part is interesting but not much is made of it, its actually misleading as there is very little more to this part vs what you see in the trailers. The bulk of the movie is about Kirron Kher, freshly divorced, with twenty-something daughter (Tanushree), moving to Mumbai from Kolkotta and then its about the different people they encounter there. Tanushree, who hates her mom for leaving dad and coming to Mumbai, meets nice guy next door (Ankur Khanna), who’s heart is with someone else (Masumeh Makhija, playing a wealth chasing hottie).

Kirron meets a variety of women in the colony (all housewives, not desperate) including the always elegant Lilette, a mother-in-law / daughter-in-law combination who are always trying to outdo each other and a punjabi stereotypical housewife, named Jasbeer Brar, ‘don’t forget the R’. There is also a south Indian housewife who is desperate but again not much is made of this. Kirron also meets Farouque Shaikh, a stockbroker, Parsi stereotype, through whom she tries to sell shares. And then she tries to learn about shares and her kitty party club also then becomes involved. How all of them interact is what the rest of the film is about.

Good points are Kirron Kher not playing a Punjabi housewife, thank God, even she must have been tired of it. She’s Bengali in this one. Lillete, Farooque and she are clearly a notch above the rest of the cast in acting ability. Some of the jokes are good – there’s a shopping trip where there are some sarcastic comments regarding plastic surgery and also the saas-bahu hilariously try to outdo each other. The serial everyone watches is called ‘Saas bhi kabhi kanya thi’ and is a good ripoff the material Balaji Productions specializes in putting on TV.

But a weak script, very ordinary plot and a pace that borders on the slower side combine to make this film not very appealing. I wish they’d gone deeper into the whole sensex angle. Making money quickly is what the sensex is about, from the little that I’ve seen of it. Unfortunately the movie, overall, also gives the impression of one trying to cash in on a fad, without putting the work behind it.

Happy Hour

For those suffering from insomnia
My recent interview, appearing on UTVi News, part of a series known as Happy Hour
~22 minutes long.

Last Lear

Rating : 5/10
Running Time : 142 Minutes
Release Date : 12 September ‘08
Director & co-writer : Rituparno Ghosh; Writer (Play) : Utpal Dutt; Music : Raja Narayan Deb, Sanjoy Das
Starring : Amitabh Bachchan, Arjun Rampal, Shefali Shah, Preity Zinta, Divya Dutta

If nothing else, this film makes you feel like picking up Shakespeare again. It’s a story less about the situations and more about the conversations and the thoughts of a few individuals and how they interact.

We meet the mesmeric Amitabh Bachchan, a theatre artist par excellence, who lives and breathes Shakespeare. An artist who left the stage in a huff, who seems to live in a museum like house, tries new things (the bell outside his house). Doesn’t like people pissing against the wall. And who is lured out of retirement to act in his first movie by Arjun Rampal.

Arjun is an intense film director, the type who will wind up people if he feels it will result in a better shot. For him the craft dominates the commercial aspects and he is reluctant to meet the press, is happy to keep them waiting till he is ready etc. The premiere of his film, though, is not attended by his heroine, Preity Zinta.

Preity spends the night of the premiere at Amitabh’s house. She regrets somethings that happened during the shoot, had enjoyed Amitabh’s company and had even learnt something from him. She’s one of the sweet souls who’s stuck in a bad marriage, probably with a man who can’t tolerate her success. And as she leaves for Amitabh’s house, he douses her with perfume, literally sprays it vindictively all over her and this irritates Shefali Shah.

Shefali lives with Amitabh Bachchan and is now his caretaker / guardian, saw him on stage and just decided to shift in with him. Her expressive eyes convey a thousand emotions as she rails against Preity (is this the way to visit sick people ? doused in perfume ?) or the nurse or film directors or anyone and everyone. Clearly hurt by the events that have happened, she is also clear that she can cope with whatever life throws at her

Most of the movie is like this. Flashes of conversation, a little story movement, past mixed with present, dark and brooding. And though the performances are very, very good, it doesn’t really make you feel anything much – maybe a little sympathy for Amitabh, alittle angst against the perfectionist Arjun, some empathy for the nurse (well played by Divya Dutta). Its nice, maybe worth a watch once, if you’re into this kind of a thing but its also equally probable that you don’t get hooked by it and decide to power nap instead.

Drishti

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 171 Minutes
Release Date : August ‘90
Director & co-writer : Govind Nihalani Writer : Shashi Deshpande ; Music : Kishori Amonkar
Starring : Dimple Kapadia, Shekhar Kapur, Irfan Khan, Mita Vasisht and Vijay Kashyap

Some very frank and realistic conversations about men, women, why they cant be just friends (possibly inspired by 'When Harry Met Sally'), affairs, break-ups and reconciliation of sorts amongst very middle class Mumbai households. And above all, if all else fails, there is the simmering sensuality of Dimple Kapadia, as the camera caresses her, delves into her eyes and conveys a thousand emotions softly and subtly. You dont care that its inspired by Ingmar Bergman's 'Scenes from a Marriage'

The movie is about Shekhar Kapur and his wife Dimple. They have a good marriage, especially if you compare it to the one their close friends (Mita Vasisht and Vijay Kashyap) have where wedlock has deteriorated into a mélange of sarcastic barbs, excuses and assorted incidents. Shekhar and Dimple have a eight year old daughter and their life seems fairly idyllic with lots of love between them, respect for each other and some realistic display of affection between them. However, both have affairs. Dimple has one with a budding classical musician (a youthful Irfan), it last only for a brief while but brings spice into her life, makes her radiant and as she confides in her friend, makes her feel alive and wanted once more.

Shekhar’s affair, with his lab assistant is far more disruptive. He walks in on an unsuspecting Dimple, coldly informs her that he’s having an affair, cant live with her anymore and walks off, separating with immediate effect. The rest of the movie is about how they both cope with life and move on, shown only in the form of conversations and meetings between Dimple and Shekhar.

Dimple was truly amazing in the film, very credible, able to translate her feelings beautifully in front of the camera. In fact, if you didn’t know better, you would almost accuse the camera of having an affair with her. And she could teach the yound actresses of today a thing or two about how to emanate sensuality without revealing any flesh. Shekhar is understated as you would expect, mono-syllabic in parts, not truly revealing whats going on in his mind, the balanced one till the affair unbalances him.

There are some lovely touches of middle class existence, things like the suitcases on top of the Godrej cupboards, the Premier Padmini, the small dining tables, the ethnic, tasteful yet inexpensive furniture. The music, by Kishori Amonkar, is haunting in parts and ok in others

The movie has several messages. About how affairs can ruin marriages and result in happiness to no one. How, if done discretely, they can rejuvenate you. How it may be better to break a marriage (the type like their friends have) than live in an almost claustrophobic, stifling relationship on an everyday basis. And how, sometimes, it may make sense to have a clean break and that may even be better for the kids. Probably better to watch this one vs the trip to the marriage counselor.

Paheli

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 134 Minutes
Release Date : June ‘05
Director : Amol Palekar ; Vijayadan Detha ; Music : MM Kreem and Adesh Shrivastava
Starring : Shahrukh Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Anupam Kher, Juhi Chawla

I think as far as unusual plots go, this one takes the cake. Rani Mukherjee’s wedding procession stops to rest at a banyan tree, which in legend and in reality is inhabited by ghosts. One becomes infatuated by her. The next day, when her husband (Shahrukh Khan), leaves for a five year business trip and also stops at the same tree to rest, the ghost see’s its chance, assumes his likeness and lands up at Rani’s house, with the real husband carrying on to Gujarat to set up his business there.

Now, in the part that I liked the most, the ghost makes an honest confession to Rani (about him being a ghost etc) prior to beginning physical intimacies with her. And a distraught Rani chooses five years of companionship from an infatuated ghost vs five years of loneliness from a daddy’s boy and accounts obsessed flesh and blood husband. All this takes place within 20 minutes or so of the start and most of the rest of the movie is about how their relationship develops, how he gets his dominating and money minded dad (Anupam Kher) to agree to several things and then finally what happens when the real husband lands up after five years.

It’s a story nicely told, moves along at a nice pace and doesn’t dwell too long on any one sub-plot. It doesn’t get soppy with the ghost/Rani love story, nor does it become completely around Shahrukh charming the rest of the household or about the real husband’s dismay at being completely forgotten by his family as obviously, no one writes or visits him. It blends these three pieces quite well and gives a nice contrast between the real and the ghostly Shahrukh, as also the intricacies of a ‘baniya’ household where clearly money rules the roost. Where else would a newly wed husband agree to leave the next day after marriage (because Dad said so and it’s a very auspicious time) or refuse to consummate their marriage on their wedding night (because Mom said why ignite physical passion when there is to be five years of separation).

Having said all that, I didn’t like the end. It was too obvious and also the whole drama with the goatherd etc was unnecessary. I wish there had been some other twist added here, some spark. The viewers obviously have to park their skepticism against ghosts to one side and also not ask other ‘real’ questions like if the ghosts could assume any identity and was not tied up to the tree, then pray, why was he permanently inhabiting the tree till Rani came along. Cast these doubts aside and immerse yourself in a nice, little story (apparently derived from a classic Rajasthani folktale), set in a world very different from the one we inhabit everyday.

Bas Ek Pal

Rating : 3/10
Running Time : 142 Minutes
Release Date : September ‘06
Director & co-writer : Onir; Writer : Irene Dhar Malik; Music : Vivek Philip & Mithoon
Starring : Juhi Chawla, Urmila Matondkar, Sanjay Suri, Jimmy Shergill, Rehaan Engineer

If the director wanted to show that one moment can irrevocably change your life, he could’ve chosen other better ways to show it. Sanjay Suri, fresh back from an MBA in Boston, meets up with childhood friend Jimmy. As he pursues a ‘mystery’ woman, Urmilla, a scuffle ensues between Sanjay, Jimmy, Urmilla’s date and Jimmy’s business partner (Rehaan). A shot gets fired. Jimmy is a wheelchair cripple for life. Sanjay spends three years in jail where all sorts of bad things happen to him. Rehaan’s wife, Juhi, bails him out. Urmilla is now about to get married to Jimmy. Sanjay can’t get her out of his mind. And Rehaan is an abusive, suspicious, wife-hitting man who now suspects Juhi of having an affair with Sanjay.

The conversation is nice and realistic, especially in the beginning, before the madness begins. The film gets darker and more morbid as time progresses and makes for painful watching. The only relief comes from the song ‘Tere Bin’ and some good performances from Urmilla, Juhi and Sanjay. But you don’t understand any of the five principal characters in the film – each one seeming more psychotic than the other.

They could have also called the film ‘Lets see who lives’ or ‘How much craziness can people put up with’. This one leaves a bad taste in the mouth and it took me two sittings to be able to go through this one.

Road to Perdition

Rating : 7/10
Running Time : 117 Minutes
Release Date : July ‘02
Director : Sam Mendes ; Writers : Max Allan Collins & Richard Piers Rayner (graphic novel)
Starring : Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Daniel Craig, Jude Law, Tyler Hoechlin

Tom Hanks’ masterful performance and the overall dark, gloomy setting of the American gangster era, light up the screen and make for riveting viewing in this otherwise predictable movie.

Tom owes everything he has to Paul Newman, who picked him off the streets and treats him like his son. In return, he gets Tom’s unflinching loyalty and one of the best enforcers in the business. Paul’s real son, a weak, effeminate Daniel Craig, is a bit hot headed and during a simple business meeting ends up shooting a loyal business partner. Trouble erupts when he realises that Tom Hanks elder son has witnessed the entire episode. Soon Tom and his elder son are fleeing the bleak, wintry countryside to avoid a contract killer and pondering what to do next.

Tom Hanks is brilliant as a quiet, undemonstrative man who gets the job done. They say ‘still waters run deep’, though, and we see how this man is determined to follow things to their logical end without flinching. A tiny furrow on his forehead is about all the emotion we see as he copes with the loss of the life he had built over the years. I also loved the way the father-son relationship is shown, it is so devoid of physical contact or open displays of affection, so undemonstrative vs the Indian / Eastern / Latino way of raising kids. A couple of conversations also stand out, especially the one between the son and father while they’re on the run.

Despite the lack of much dialogue or special effects / stunts, the film has a very nice pace and an almost hypnotic effect, keeping you glued to the screen, as Sam Mendes follows up American Beauty with another masterpiece. We also see how unreasonable parents get when it comes to their offspring and in essence that’s what the movie is about. After all, they also say ‘Blood is thicker than Water’…