Epic

Rating : 4/10
Release Date : May, 2013
Time : 101 minutes
Director : Chris Wedge; Writers : Chris Wedge, James Hart, William Joyce (based on his book ‘The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs’); Music : Danny Elfman
Starring : (Voices of) : Amanda Seyfried, Josh Hutcherson, Beyonce Knowles, Colin Farrell, Christoph Waltz, Jason Sudeikis

An animated feature with great visuals but nothing new story wise, just a rehash of age-old themes…and missing the sparkling humour that makes most such films such a magnet on tv re-runs

It’s a love story set amongst yet another battle between good (Leaf Men and their queen, who’re responsible for keeping forests green) and evil (Boggans, who cause things to rot, putrefy). Amanda, visiting her Dad’s place, is sucked into this miniature world, which he has always believed existed and is drawn right into the thick of the battle as things heat up and young Josh, a rookie Leaf Man, supervised by the veteran Colin, has to figure out whether he is up for it…

The film misses a spark of any kind, which is perhaps a good thing, seeing that its set in a forest…makes for a rather dull, lifeless viewing experience despite the great animation, effects as the story treads on familiar paths with nothing to make it stand out. Apart from the tagline.

Trance

Rating : 6/10
Release Date : March, 2013
Time : 101 minutes
Director : Danny Boyle; Writers : Joe Ahearne, John Hodge; Music : Rick Smith
Starring : James McAvoy, Vincent Cassel, Rosario Dawson, Danny Sapani, Matt Cross, Wahab Sheikh

James McAvoy and Vincent Cassel make the film watchable, but only just…

There is a daring theft of a painting from an art gallery, with James McAvoy as an insider, part of the gang which has stolen it. Only problem is he has forgotten where its hidden. And with conventional medicine proving inadequate (a bit too quickly), hypno-therapy with the delectable Rosario Dawson is tried out. With some unexpected effects.

There is a bit too much mumbo-jumbo, the film goes completely off-track in the middle, becoming unrealistic and keeping viewers attention only by resorting to some nudity and sex. Vincent Cassel is excellent as always, James adds life to the proceedings (kind of like his role in Wanted) and the others do their job decently. Rosario is probably the weakest link – pouts a bit too much, looks old, haggard in parts…

The painting itself, Francisco Goya’s 1798 Oil on canvas ‘Witches in the Air’, the one that’s stolen, is stunning…one can understand why everyone goes to such lengths to get it back. That and its multi-million pound price tag…

Besharam

Rating : 2/10
Release Date : 2nd October, 2013
Time : 138 minutes
Director & Writer : Abhinav Kashyap; Co-writer : Rajeev Barnwal; Music : Lalit Pandit
Starring : Ranbir Kapoor, Pallavi Sharda, Javed Jaafri, Rishi Kapoor, Neetu Singh, Amitosh Nagpal

You may be the hero (Ranbir), vulgar, ill-mannered, boorishly behaved, stupidly dressed but its all okay and we’re supposed to like you and feel for you because you’re an orphan. And a thief but supposedly with a heart of gold. You can stalk a girl (Pallavi) you claim to love, land up at her office, get down on your knees, say ‘I love you’, mouth dialogues like ‘I’ll change my life for you’ accompanied by many vulgar gestures (crotch, tongue, wink wink, nudge nudge) but that too is ok – even the girls mom doesn’t mind because…well, he is naughty but cant you see his heart of gold ? He may try to kiss you while you’re sleep but he wouldn’t do anything really bad, would he ?

This is a stupid, regressive, senseless film. The villain, Javed Jaafri, in fact, is the only consistent character but even that goes for a toss when he, the havala king of Chandigarh, who deals with crores of cash everyday, is shown unable to calculate 1.8 cr times five towards the end. Rishi and Neetu are bumbling cops, quite useless at what they do. And in the second half, everyone, including the villain, turn into superheroes ! Flying through the air, shooting guns, fighting, yelling, beating multiple persons to pulp as the directors Dabangg hangover shines through…

There are a million things wrong with the film…from the message it sends out to its extremely painful songs (4 in the first half alone!) to how a guy who is supposed to be a great car thief (with jaadu in his fingers) botches up the first car he is shown stealing…but then a little later manages to steal an even more upmarket one without a hitch ! Scatological humour, a gratuitous, awful shower scene, horrible, inane dialogue round up a pathetic, headache inducing film.

Ranbir doesn’t suit the role at all…you cant imagine him being this crass, making the entire film unbelievable. Pallavi struggles with a role which requires her to look angry in the first half and moonstruck in the second. Rishi, Neetu, Javed and Amitosh try their best but are also saddled with ridiculous characters.

I think the disappointment was greater because it was Ranbir, Rishi and Neetu Kapoor, all extremely talented people, doing stuff which you wished they hadn’t, in a film which you really wonder why they said ‘Yes’ to. This film should never have been made. Much less with talent like these.

The LunchBox

Rating : 7/10
Release Date : 20th September, 2013
Time : 109 minutes
Director & Writer : Ritesh Batra; Music : Max Richter
Starring : Irrfan Khan, Nimrat Kaur, Nawazuddin Siddique, Lillette Dubey, Bharti Achrekar (voice of Aunty)

Its an excruciatingly slow film that teaches us invaluable lessons about marriage, growing old…perhaps patience is the third lesson – and after all isn’t it absolutely necessary to experience life the right way ?

Widower, Irrfan, about to retire in a month, leads a lonely existence. Works in insurance, has Nawazuddin lined up to take over his role. And suddenly, he begins receiving the wrong lunchbox. The one prepared by young Nimrat for her husband. Soon they start exchanging notes. Some brief. Some more expansive ones about their journeys and current tribulations. And soon, the notes are the most looked forward feature in each of their daily lives.

There is something curious about the institution of marriage. How you are literally locked up in a room with someone (in India, usually a stranger) and told to live the rest of your life with that person. You are expected to find love, companionship, romance and adventure – all with the same person – while at the same time taking care of the person, putting up with their little foibles (obsession with the telephone, TV, news etc).

It gets even stranger with old age. A mix of inflation, fatalism, no concern for fitness and lack of interests outside of work means most of us are hopelessly unprepared for life after retirement – either financially or mentally. And here too, the spouse is supposed to selflessly, without care for her own life or needs, devote themselves to taking care of you…and it is expected – to not do so would be considered an inappropriate deviation

The story progresses in a leisurely manner, filled with little gems of moments. The relationship between the upstairs Aunty (never seen but voiced with great nuance by Bharti Achrekar) and Nimrat – with a basket going up and down carrying goods and sage advice. The discussion about traffic, commuting standing up and vertical burials. The getting ready for an unnoticing husband. Irrfan’s brief and critical response to the delicious lunchbox when he gets a note for the first time (which reminded me of a scene involving Obelix from Asterix and The Gladiator, if memory serves me right). The eager Nawaz, self-taught, under-equipped for the job but keen to learn, keen to progress (he even chops his vegetables on the train) and keen to strike up a relationship with the reclusive Irrfan. The same song playing on the train and in Nimrat’s home. Bhutan and the mystique around its Gross National Happiness. The old cassettes, video and audio, full of memories.

The film does move very slowly- sometimes more than necessary and hence a second viewing within a short span of time is unlikely (one of my key criteria for a higher rating). Some of the things the characters do don’t make sense. But the performances are spot on and help sweep such doubts under the carpet. Its great to see Irrfan and Nawazuddin together – one deadpan and the other managing to communicate a lot more but without any histrionics. Nimrat is a revelation – found her outstanding and hope we see a lot more of her.

There were also two statements – one repeated a few times – which sum up the movies philosophy about life and its strange ways. One is that sometimes getting on a wrong train can lead you to the right destination. And the other is that no one buys yesterdays lottery ticket…

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John Day

Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 13th September, 2013
Time : 150 minutes
Director, Writer : Ahishor Solomon; Music : Kshitij Tarey, Strings
Starring : Naseeruddin Shah, Randeep Hooda, Vipin Sharma, Shernaz Patel, Sharat Saxena

There is a germ of an interesting idea here but instead of making it blossom into a beautiful forest, with greenery and idyllic rivers, in terms of executional style, they chose the dark, gloomy, haunted woods.

John Day, the titular character, played by Naseeruddin Shah, is an upright bank manager who’s had a really bad couple of years. First his daughter dies. Then his branch gets robbed. And his wife, Shernaz Patel, is in a semi-comatose state after the daughter’s death and fully comatose after the robbery.

Randeep Hooda, is a vindictive, brutal cop, the kind who loves inflicting pain just cause he enjoys it. Ten slaps when one will do. Ten bullets when obviously just a single one would be enough. And even gorier stuff. He has no attachments (maybe girlfriend Elena Kazan is an exception but he slaps her around just to be in character), he is an orphan and works for a big underworld don, Sharat Saxena.

The bank robbery makes Naseer’s and Randeep’s paths criss-cross, with Vipin Sharma, as the dishonest cop in charge of the investigation, also playing a key part.

The plot is interesting but they go out of the way to stretch it (movie could’ve been half hour shorter with no one being wiser), throw in plenty of unnecessary plot points (Why did Naseer’s daughter have to be adopted ? Why did a smart cop not keep any extra copy of a crucial file ? How does a girlfriend he doesn’t really trust know all about it ?) and they make it far more gruesome than it needed to be (there is a need for it in Silence of the Lambs and is almost a raison d’etre in most Tarantino films, not here, just puts you off). Also the transformation of Naseeruddin Shah from mild but firm bank manager to avenging angel is surprising to say the least, though, given what he’s gone through, perhaps not entirely inexplicable.

What works are the performances, Sharat Saxena particularly convincing as an ‘honest’ Don and both the leading men pulling their weight, slotting into their roles with ease. Vipin Sharma also caught the eye with a good performance to round up the credits. Its also not a run of the mill Hindi film, something different about the treatment – its not a normal cops & robbers film or a story about corruption or a mindless action flick – and so deserves some brownie points for that.

The makers though seemed to not know whether they wanted to make a ‘noir-ish’ film or a slick action thriller, kind of falling in between, with brooding moments and some action. The film would’ve turned out much better if they’d chosen and whole-heartedly chased the latter…

Zanjeer

Rating : 2/10
Release Date : 6th September, 2013
Time : 137 minutes
Director, Writer : Apoorva Lakhia; Music : Meet Bros Anjjan, Chirantan Bhatt
Starring : Ram Charan, Priyanka Chopra, Sanjay Dutt, Prakash Raj, Mahie Gill, Atul Kulkarni

Everyone is a laughable caricature in the film. They’ve basically taken the broad storyline from the ’73 film and sucked the life and soul from it, reducing everything to a high-decibel, badly scripted joke. And the ‘Yaari Hai, Imaan Hai Mera’ replacement song is so awful, they should probably be fined for grevious bodily harm to a classic…

Its still about an angry cop (Ram Charan), who has been transferred 17 times in 5 years, now sent to Mumbai and there he takes on the oil mafia. Led by the silly, cartoon-ish Prakash Raj, who, far from being menacing, just makes you groan in disbelief. Ram Charan also meets Priyanka Chopra, an NRI who’s knowledge of India is solely based on Hindi films and again, is silly beyond belief. Sanjay Dutt at least remains consistent but without any reason behind what he does, why…

Be prepared for a lot of bone-crunching, cable-assisted fight sequences (shouldn’t they have kept the action real ?). I had issues with literally everything (Atul Kulkarni’s character probably the only one not totally screwed up, with some good lines), even the make-up for the hero looking very fake at some points. Why do Ram Charan and Sanjay Dutt become friends ? Why / when / how do Priyanka and Ram Charan start having feelings other than irritation for each other ? Why does Prakash Raj just keep making threats, keep talking, when he has the ability to kill ? How do bullets miss their target twice, despite being fired from less than three feet away ?

The songs are as bad as the rest of the film, the dialogue trashy, the emotions fake, the situations contrived. And the sad part is I actually like most of the actors in the film. Sanjay Dutt, Priyanka, Prakash Raj have all shown what they’re capable of in other films. And have always had a soft spot for Ram Charan since watching him in the fantastical Magadheera a few years ago…

Most film-makers seem to spend a lot of time acquiring remake rights / casting for the film. Wish they spent half that scripting it. Or even just thinking about what the original film was about, what was its essence. Because after the final product, you realize they don’t have a clue…

Shuddh Desi Romance

Rating : 4/10
Release Date : 6th September, 2013
Time : 141 minutes
Director : Maneesh Sharma; Writer : Jaideep Sahni; Music : Sachin-Jigar
Starring : Sushant Singh Rajput, Parineeti Chopra, Vaani Kapoor, Rishi Kapoor

People fall in and out of love too easily. Change their mind about marriage too conveniently. I understand promiscuity but this is a different level of flippancy. You also don’t get what’s it about Sushant that he gets too fairly hot women to lust for him.

Sushant Singh runs away from one marriage, from the actual jai-mala stage. Because he is not sure. Neither are we about why he runs away. He seems like a typical, dil-phenkh, sadak-chhaap boy, nothing memorable about him, not much to look at either. But first Parineeti falls for him. Then Vaani Kapoor, the girl he had left at the Hindu equivalent of the altar, also does so. Cue a couple more escapes from weddings and you wonder what the hell is going on…

The only character who remains consistent, understandable is Rishi Kapoor. A man who employs both Sushant and Parineeti as fake baraati’s and otherwise runs a wedding catering / baraat business. His advice, concern for the three leads remains genuine. And even though there are plenty of ‘I love you’s’, kisses and sex, not once do you feel anything is real or heart-felt…which kind of allows the whole movie to pass you by as well, without any regard for whats happening.

Some of the jokes are funny (the opening bus sequence, the whole arranged vs love marriage, Rishi's advice to both Sushant and Parineeti). The rustic touches are good, the atmosphere, small-town feel works and the performances sincere. Pity you just don’t agree with either the overall plot or the characters created.