Chennai Express

Rating : 5/10
Release Date : 9th August, 2013
Time : 143 minutes
Director : Rohit Shetty; Writer : K Subaash; Music : Vishal-Shekhar
Starring : Shahrukh Khan, Deepika Padukone, Sathyaraj, Nikitin Dheer

Only 15% of the film is actually on the Chennai Express, the train
60% of the jokes / laughs in the film involve the way South Indian’s are portrayed speaking Hindi or English
95% of the action scenes involve the use of cables
Another 30% of the jokes are through the use of old songs (and one ad) being recycled
20% of senti, God-fearing dialogue is mouthed by Deepika

75% of the action happens in slow motion
30% of all vehicles shown, at some point or another, tumble through the air (in extreme slow motion)
The remaining 80% of all emotional, over the top dialogue is delivered by Shahrukh, including a very repetitive ‘power of the common man’
60% of the storyline is a kind of homage to other films, most notably DDLJ
100% of the film lacks a coherent plot to hold it together

Basically, Shahrukh enters a train and, thanks to Deepika entering the same train, his life changes. They travel south, meet Deepika’s family (Sathyaraj as her strong, silent father), run from home, fight her fiancée (a full of screen presence Nikitin) and generally do all the silly stuff that happens only in movies.

All women, who by definition are usually die-hard fans of SRK, will love the film. All others will find it drags, especially in the second half, with a silly, contrived, unbelievable climax rounding things off.

There are enough light hearted moments to keep you entertained but the “Main aati, tu jaati, khana laati” jokes begin to wear thin after a while. The funniest sequences involve the train ride, with the short-lived battle between Shahrukh and the four goons, his hysterical screaming & being scared at the same time, his & Deepika’s attempt to communicate via song and her simple explanation of the past. The locales, once they get to the south, are stunning. And perhaps one of the songs can be heard again.

The end is particularly cringe-worthy, basically a ridiculous reprise of DDLJ. Its harmless enough but such a decibel heavy film that, unless you are very fond of SRK, you will find it just about palatable.